Remembering the Important Things

I think I've started crawling out of the hole that was last week.

A dear friend came over today and helped get our evap. cooler working again. So, still no AC but until July we will survive just fine. Now to just start pushing the refinancing along.

Today, our dear friend, was laid to rest in another state. The funeral was last Saturday, but the burial was in her hometown. We were unable to make that trek. As we spent time Saturday afternoon with Rob, I was constantly emotionally knocked over by the sadness that radiated from his eyes. He was holding together alright, but his eyes spoke so much more. The kids had a tough time. Thankfully, they were able to have a viewing. (After car accidents ya never know). The kids were able to look at her face to say goodbye. But when their four year-old would burst into tears, we would all lose it too. That is an image I will never lose. She was being hugged and held and loved by family and yet she felt so helpless.

I am still deeply sad. However, I have a renewed perspective of gratitude and overwhelming love for my husband and children. I am better with my words. I am mindful to make sure the last things I say before leaving or sending them off to school are positive happy things. I want no regrets on either side. I want to make sure that each day they know how much I love them, and how very important they are to me.

My daughter sang a solo in the school talent show today. I need to write a whole post on this one. It was shocking to me the song choices of some of the other kids. I am grateful my daughter wanted to sing about love, kindness and making a difference. Even more so after I heard other little girls sing and dance to songs about desire, their 'triggers', and sensual love. Maybe I'm just getting old, but when did it become ok for little girls to be so sexualized?

Go, tell your kids you love them. Tell your wife/husband all the things they do right every day. Give them all big hugs. You can never go wrong with love.

I Need To Learn To Just Say Thank You and Then Believe It Too

Tonight after my kids' band concert I received a sweet compliment. My kids' Principal turned to my kids and said, "I hope you're parents know what good children you are. You are always so polite and respectful." I was walking a bit behind the kids (holding toddler hands). I called over to her a thank you.

I am often told what good kids I have. I wonder that people think I am better at this parenting thing than I really am. I certainly hope other mothers are not comparing themselves to me. I compare myself to other women. Isn't it awful that I do that? I don't know what is going on in their heads or in their homes any more than they see what is happening in my life. It is really easy to paint a picture of perfection around somebody who is having a good moment.

I think that is why I enjoy reading other blogs so very much. You bloggers share the ins and outs and the good and the bad. The blogs I enjoy the most are such refreshingly honest places to visit. It gives me a moment to reflect on my life and realize I'm not that far from normal. That normal really does encompass bad days for some pretty amazing people.

On occasion, when I have received a glowing compliment, instead of Thank You..I want to rush into how my kids really aren't always so wonderful. I don't do this tho. Because after all, just because I see the tougher moments in my kids' lives, it doesn't mean that they aren't pretty special. So, they should never hear me disagree with anyone about how sweet, kind and polite they are. I wouldn't ever want them to think I don't appreciate their good public behavior.

Still, it can be tough to smile and take a compliment when I have been battling my daughter over telling lies. Oh, how it hurts to be lied to by my child. They should market a salve for that hurt. Somebody would get rich off it. Those giving the compliments don't see how my kids fight and argue or just outright disobey sometimes.

But...I would benefit by seeing my children through other peoples eyes sometimes. I think that is the biggest thing that came to mind tonight as agreed and Thanked the Principal. I do have good kids. They deserve the right to struggle through some things at times just as I do.

When I look at my kids, I not only see who they are, but who they could become. It is so frustrating when they fight against those potentials. I wonder tho, if seeing what they could become doesn't at time prevent me from appreciating who they are right now. Maybe I've just stumbled onto the biggest trial of parenthood.

My kids all did very well in their band and chorus concerts tonight. I am very proud of them. My little boys sat with me very well. We had to wait for a half hour before the concert began and they were both so well behaved. They got a bit tired of it all by the end (but so did I shhh).

I know I'm a bit all over in these thoughts. Sometimes that is how it works for me as I'm thinking through an idea. Eventually, I might get it straight, but for now this resembles my mind's working better than a finely crafted post.