Pottery Gossip

Tonight my husband and I spent the evening painting pottery. This is becoming one of our regular date night activities, especially right now when movie selection is so dismal. We go to a place called "As You Wish" I'll share some pictures of what we have painted after we pick up things on Monday.

Tonight a group of girl scouts were there with their parents. Ten, ten yr-olds with their gossiping moms. Well, there was one dad there. He didn't do much gossiping, but he held his own in the real conversation department.

My husband and I sat in our quiet corner and listened to the interactions of the kids and adults for two hours. Let me tell you a bit of what I learned sitting there tonight.

- One woman spent a lot of time worrying over her painting, and was continually sending her daughter to fetch her different colors and brushes. Patience was not her strong suit. Later, we learned she is also the mother of twins who left daddy in charge of the boys tonight. She was less than enthusiastic of dad's parenting skills.

- Another woman was about to make some major changes in her job. She became intensely curious in what other people are earning at their jobs. And how they handle health care at such jobs. She also wondered how another woman who owns a small company handles health care for her employees. It was rather personal things. But they all seemed comfortable sharing it all.

- Another woman was quickly trying to plan a parent's meeting for next Wednesday. She was rather fearful some of the parents would leave before she had the chance to commit them all to coming. She also talked about attending a larger girl scouts meeting. She complained quite a bit about the requirements for some project. I don't know the program so the details eluded me.

- Another woman spent most of her time complimenting the painting of the different parents. She went so far as to declare that the dad had a hidden talent. She went on to explain how her mother had no hobbies until she retired and then took up painting, like Bob Ross. Which of course led to the women giggling over enjoying watching Bob Ross.

-Another woman kept talking about her trip to Hawaii from several years back. I think she felt the need to show she's been there too as another lady had just returned from a trip there.

-The dad talked about how he gets extra benefits at his federal government job because he was in the military. Personally, I think all veterans deserve some sort of continued benefit such as he explained.

-The best part? The hushed conversation when all the girls would be away from the main table. They had to discuss the friend who's husband had just filed for divorce. Of course the friend didn't want anyone but the woman speaking to know, so the speaking woman made sure all the other adults would keep it secret.

It is kinda sad how we women sometimes talk about things we shouldn't. It can make for interesting conversation in the moment, but I found a lot of unfairness and disservice to others in that random conversation I overheard.

How sad for that father of the twins, who is caring for his kids, to be compared to a barely competent babysitter. How sad for the woman getting a divorce to have who she believes are her friends snickering and whispering about how they saw it coming. How sad that little girls were being bossed around, false compliments were being layered all the while everyone was smiling and laughing..I felt very little genuine happiness from the group. I felt competition, comparing, veiled insults, and pressure to conform. And yet, I know they all feel themselves to be great friends. How genuine am I with my friends? How respectful am I when I share things about my husband? How nosy can I be?

I don't know these people. But they offered me a glimpse into myself for a moment. And I feel a renewed commitment, to be careful with my words. Words hold power. I should not wield them carelessly.

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Bougainvillea

Has it really been a full week since I last posted? Wow..the week has flown by. So much for me determination to write more frequently.

This past weekend I did yard work. This winter we've had many nights below freezing. This is an unusual thing for Phoenix. A couple times of reaching freezing happens, but weeks of hard freezes have killed many trees and bushes throughout the city. I have a bougainvillea in my front yard. Here is a picture of one for those unfamiliar:




It is a pretty bush that we let grow really big through the summer and fall. It also has huge thorns. I just googled bougainvillea thorn to see if I could get a picture of one for you. The first one hundred hits or so dealt with people in different medical forums asking for advice after getting poked, pricked or embedded with a thorn from this delightful plant. This just goes to show me that my frustrations and dealing with this plant are not unique to me. Heh. All of the branches on my 12 foot high bush died with the freeze and the leaves turned black. Yuck! So, now that it seems to have warmed up, I went and chopped it all off. I have all the scratches to prove it.

I had misplaced my gloves and so started the project barehanded. Not such a smart thing to do. About halfway through, I took a break, looked at the welts appearing on my hands and ankles and then drove to Home Depot to get new gloves. Now that bush is just a stump. The thing is that the freeze killed the branches, but it didn't kill the plant. This is not the first time I have taken the bush down to a stump. It will be back and next winter I will share again how much I despise trimming the bougainvillea.

I could remove the plant. My husband and I have discussed removing it many times, but then we would need to put something in its place. Our house is white and the deep greens and reds of the bush look very pretty against it. So, until we decide on what to replace it with, I will continue my annual hatefest with it.

I do trim it mid summer but I wait to hack it way back until Jan-Feb.

I look at myself sometimes in comparison with this bush. See, I have my own thorns. These thorns sometimes make it pretty tough for people to stay close to me. I can appreciate not wanting to get scratched. But this isn't me all of the time. Kinda like my stump out there right now. It doesn't look like it could hurt anything.

I go through times of dropping contact with people in my life. It is never intentional. It never is that I don't want to see them. I just take a break as I work through things in my own little world. I tend to avoid taking care of things until the absolutely demand my attention. Like that bush. I was going to write here that I have lost friends because of this, but that isn't true. It is more that I have drifted apart from some good, amazing people in my life. I have a few very good friends and many others who fit in this drifted away department. Where when we see each other it is friendly and we are glad to see each other, but too much time has passed to quickly regain the deeper connection we once shared.

This is all probably much more common than I give myself credit for. I've really only know a couple of people who have that natural social friend ability. I think it is something we are either wired for or not. I am very thankful to have those close people in my life who understand that when I seem to drift away we really can pick up where we left off.

I'm not sure if this all flows right, or if my connection between friendships and a plant that is overly annoying to trim is fair. The two have simply been on my mind, which generally leads to odd comparisons.