Jumping in Feet First

Growing up, I used to keep a journal. Only, I wasn't very good with it. I would write regularly for a space of time, weeks maybe even months. And then I'd forget to write for a time, months maybe even years. I would return to the journal and feel overwhelmed that there was so much I had missed writing about. So much that I felt I had to write and write to catch up some imaginary journal reader everything in my life. Needless to say, writing that catch up, sometimes would completely burn me out.

So, my dear blog friends, who are real, unlike that imaginary journal reader I had, I am not going to catch you up on everything right now. I am just going to hop right back in, feet first.

I do want to write about my very favorite moment from this past Christmas.

The scene, preparing the family to go pick out a Christmas Tree. The kids were all very excited and were congregating by the front door, awaiting permission to head to the van. My oldest (Heather almost 12) sat down on the floor and held her littlest brother (Brandon 2 1/2) to help him wait. She started telling him all about Christmas trees and all about the Christmas lights we would see. She was sharing with him all her most favorite Christmas things. There was not one mention of gifts or toys or the many 'things' that would be coming their way.

He watched her face with rapt attention and would repeat a word or two she was saying. His own excitement was growing as she shared hers.

In so many ways the past couple months have been difficult. However, I keep returning to that moment in my thoughts and in my heart. We have a strong foundation in our home. It is based on love and giving and sharing ourselves. I see it in how my children love each other. I see it in how they like to be together. I see it in how they patiently teach each other.

I am blessed. I am loved.


Soccer season will be upon us within a month. I think, unlike this past fall, we will be signing up again. So, lots of stories and pictures to come on those adventures.

Happy New Year everyone! Better a month late...then missing out entirely..

Why Do I Blog?

Why do I blog?

Awesome Mom just did a meme answering this very question and then she tagged me. Ok, well she didn't tag ME but tagged anyone who wanted to do it. So, I knew she must be thinking about me.

Top Five Reason I Blog:

1. I have found I absolutely love having a place to write out the interesting thoughts that settle in my head. Sure, my husband gets to hear my ponderings but I'm not the phone my friend to tell her what I was thinking type of gal. Sometimes I wish I were and sometimes I wish the telephone would just blow up or something so that I would have a good excuse for never calling anyone. (Yay social anxieties..)

2. I like to think things out by speaking them out loud. If I can talk my troubles out, the solution will often come as I verbally analyze it all. Well, I feel a bit silly telling the toddlers all about somethings...and well they are learning to talk pretty well and there are some words they best just not learn yet. When I type out my struggles here, I get to wallow in the perception that there are people really listening to me.

3. I love writing. Keeping a blog and having some sense of obligation to keep it updated, keeps me writing. I miss my writing classes. Spending time writing helped to keep me more centered. I think the lack of creating I am doing might be part of the depression I've been fighting for the past month. This is as bad as it has been in a couple of years. I wonder if my writing classes over 2006 helped to keep it at bay. There's a thought. See..writing here helps me see my problems in a new light.

4. Confession: I am lousy at keeping things like scrapbooks or baby books for my kids. I have tons of pictures, but few stories. I love to write about my kids' discoveries, talents, and cuteness. I've been a bit lax in this lately, but keep an eye out for more cute kid posts. This is some of the best memory keeping of them I've ever done.

5. The blogging community I have found is priceless. I know I wrote in #2 "I get to wallow in the perception that there are people really listening to me." But see, often you all really are listening. In my recent worries about having annoyed my good friend, you were all so supportive and wonderful. Reading your comments made me cry because you reassured me that things really are not as bad as I like to believe sometimes. You all have been my sounding board, my support and in very real ways, my friends. I love to read your blogs and I would miss you horribly should I have to stop blogging or reading for some reason. Thank you for being willing to share yourselves. Thank you for helping me to feel free and safe in sharing my thoughts and worries.


Now, I tag you. Yes, you. You know I mean you. If examining why you blog right now will help to add insight to why you should or should not keep this up, then please let me know when you respond to the Meme. There has been a lot of contemplation out there lately. Many people feeling burdened by blogging, or feeling tired and uninspired. If this is you, then I hope you will do this one too. Self-understanding and self-exploration is one of the best reasons to be blogging.

200 Posts on the Wall

I've made it to 200 posts.

I would have celebrated at 100 posts but I realized around post 120 that I should have done that.

I've been all over the place in these last 200 posts. I've shared some of my love for sports. I've shared much of my love for my children. I've shared an insight here or there. I've shared some of my attempts at writing.

Blogging has taught me as much about writing as my classes have. There is a rhythm to writing that some days is very difficult to find. One of the things all new writers are taught is to write daily, to stretch and use those writing muscles in order to learn and improve. Blogging has offered me an easy place in which to do some of this writing and yet I am not really able to even write random thoughts here daily.

I've settled into a sort of a comfortableness with blogging now. It's here when I want to express some thoughts that just don't fit in with the conversations I have with my toddlers. More, it is here when I need to think something out through writing. Best of all, it is here when I want to visit with friends. If I go too long without reading some of my favorite blogs to visit, I feel out of touch with things. This is a beautiful community.

I've not been a very good commenter lately, but check your stats, I've been visiting.

So, mostly, thank you all you wonderful bloggers out there. Thank you for being willing to share bits and pieces of yourselves and your experiences. Thank you for reading here and being supportive of my own ramblings. Thank you to my family members who read here and do not judge me harshly for sharing parts of myself this way.

Happy Blogging Everyone!