CAN

I saw this the other day over at Jaime's Jensen Five blog.

Don't be fooled by it being on YouTube. It isn't a funny. It made me cry.

I enjoy examples of pure unconditional love such as this. I hope you will take a minute to go take a look. Thanks Jaime.

Summer Fun

This past week has been pretty heavy for me. I wasn't sure I had anything available in me to think through a post. But after having read through all the posts I missed this past week or so I decided I don't have to post about the tough stuff going on right now. I can leave that to the more traditional journal with paper covered in emotion-filled ink.

Instead let me tell you all about my summer. Today was the last day of swim lessons and so we are moving into school-prep mode. School starts on August 14th.

Here are some pictures of one of the swim meets.




Heather is swimming on the left and Dale is swimming on the right. This is what I watched. Little heads bobbing up and down in the water as I screamed out encouragements.



There's Heather out of the water with her ribbons and Dale with his. I am very proud of both of them. They both improved so much over the summer.

I don't have pictures of the dive meets right now. My sister took some great pictures. So, when I get copies I share them. My girls both did very well with diving. Swim and Dive Teams were a first for us this summer and I am so happy we decided to give it a try. I expect next summer will be spent very similarly.

If you remember it was my baby's birthday on June 15th. Which was just about the time I needed to take a break from blogging. I have not done his birthday entry yet, but I thought I'd share a bit about his special day.

We had a birthday party for him at my in-laws house. For each of my children on their first birthday I have made a cake. This cake is special and somehow has something to do with the child. My oldest was born the day before Easter and so she has always been our little bunny. Her cake was a bunny cake. This is of course just the baby's cake to tear into eat, or just play with. Well, my cake decorating skills are all self-taught and so are pretty limited. This my fifth child needed something uniquely him and so I did not want to repeat something I'd already done. So, I made him. Take a look:



You can see he enjoyed the cake a bit. It actually surprised me how tentative he was with the cake. For a boy who is always trying to reach things and take things from others he really had a thing about getting sticky frosting all over himself. Come to think of it, the only one of my kids we didn't have to get started on the cake was Deborah. She still has that take charge attitude too.






As a reminder here is a picture of Brandon. I think I did pretty well with the cakelikeness of him.

I think Brandon's favorite part of the whole party was his clean up after the cake in Grandma's sink.



The very best part of my summer has been my children. I love them. I need them. I am glad I spent the past couple months the way I have.

The worst part of the summer? I got heat exhaustion (just a step better than heat stroke) and was horribly sick a couple of weekends ago. This has been a tough summer heatwise and even though I thought I was getting enough water, I wasn't. So, if you decided to visit Phoenix in the summer...remember to always have water with you and then actually drink it. LOL

Weather or Not

Making it through the last push of swim/dive team meets as been tough on me. In light of this:

Copied and pasted from: ACCUWEATHER

Phoenix, AZ Current Conditions

English | Metric
Summary
(Currently at 4:12 PM)
117° Phoenix, AZ
Current Conditions mostly sunny
RealFeel®: 115° F
Winds: SSW at 13 mph

I think I'll take a few more days away from sitting at the warm computer. I'll be back next week sometime.

Loud Music

I am in a fun mood today. The kind of mood where you play the music really loud and dance around the house with the kids.

There is a lot to be said about playing music loudly. I think music is best felt as well as heard.

So, the Depeche Mode is turned up loud and here we go a-dancing!

Happy Birthday Brandon

Today my little baby turned one.

I am so blessed to be his momma.

______________________________________________

On another note...

Years ago I played an online game called Acrophobia. Then the company was bought out and the game disappeared. Tonight I refound the game and found it as challenging as ever. If you enjoy word games take a look:

Acrophobia

Thank You

I believe I have bandaged up my blog well enough that it now works in IE. That last post I wrote actually did have writing in it and somehow blogger lost it. It is really strange. I had that happen with an edit I did on another post within the past week too. Has anyone else experienced anything like that?

I will have to double check each post in IE I think tho because who knows what IE does with font sizes.

On to other things.

THANK YOU ALL for your most wonderful comments this past week. I don't know quite what I did to deserve such wonderful, intelligent visitors but thank you again. Your thoughtful words on my perspective post truly helped to add to my perspective on things.

The past couple of days my two year-old has been behaving,well, like a two year-old. I have always called him my Jeckle/Hyde baby because he was so colicky but so adorable when not screaming. This continues still. So, I think blogger is a bit like my little boy. See--



His look is all about wanting the camera. He LOVES those buttons. (I didn't take this picture...tho I laughed when I saw it. This is another of my daughter's attempts while she 'borrowed' my camera.)

Blog Troubles

Diving Through Summer

Tonight is the final regular dive meet for my daughters. YAY! Next week is divisionals (I suppose this means all the pools come for the final meet of the year, I am still new to this..). I have really enjoyed giving them the chance to try something new with this but I will be happy to get a little bit of less busy summer with the kids before school starts on August 14th. (Swim Team still has a couple more meets too..)

Today..I am very glad not to be either of these moms. My husband laughed and laughed at these and I went "Oh NO!" and imagined the cleanup, ESPECIALLY on the second one.

Funny Kids 1

Funny Kids 2


Think of me this evening, sitting in the 110°F heat watching my girls dive. Send many cooling thoughts my way.

As my own funny, I leave you with a couple of pictures of my oldest. She 'borrowed' my camera and had a bit of fun.


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The Past Snuck Up On Me

Another Sunday Evening. I am glad we all made it here together. Sundays can be very hectic days at my house. To top it off, it is 8pm and 107°F outside. My poor A/C is having trouble keeping up. I wrote a heavy post yesterday. A post that wasn't as lightening as I had hoped it would be. So, I think I'll ponder over something a bit lighter tonight.


Last night, I attended a wedding reception. It was well done and a very happy place to visit. Only, I wasn't feeling all that sociable. I probably wouldn't have even gone except my mom
wanted someone to go with. So I prettied myself up and went along.

At the reception the room was full of old friends. I told my mom it was like stepping into my past. People I hadn't seen in a decade were there. I did a bit of small talk but we didn't stay very long.

My thoughts on the night have been interesting. I had a hard time really reconnecting with those I spoke with. I wasn't sure what to ask etc. After we got past talking about our kids there was this little awkward pause moment. I know my mood played into it but I really wish I had been able to do more to reconnect.

What kind of friend are you to those you meet a decade later? Even if you were pretty good friends way back when. Is it tough for you to immediately reconnect as it was for me?

I have made a decision to make a few phone calls and get some email addresses of a couple of the friends. I do want to make an effort, even if I was unable last night. At least with the written word nobody is the wiser about those awkward pauses.

Perspectives

Hey I'm back! No really, mentally I think I am finally plugged into this whole blog thing again. It really helped to read all posts you have all kept writing even while I wallowed in this funk. Anyway, Bobita helped me realize what it is I wanted to write about so I send out a cyber-thanks her way. Her post from July 7th is worth a look.

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It has recently come to my attention that more people who know me in person have started/been all along, reading this blog. At first thought, I was all that won't matter. I'm good. I was always writing to let any of them read it anyway. Yeah..right. While I was writing so I would be happy to have those I know read here I suddenly became really aware of my past posts. Wondering..if I might have said something... You know what I mean. I hate that it matters to me; that I somehow now question how much of myself I have been sharing. How ugly that self might just be.

I read a post on another blog this week. It was a meme to list the 20 things that the blogger hates the most. I don't comment on this blog. I read because the writer can be very entertaining. However, she has a sharp tongue (keyboard?) and I have decided I don't really want that cynical, critical eye turned in my direction. So, I read and am proud she feels she can say all of it, but sad a little that she has so much to be irritated about. She posted this meme and many of my own dislikes were on the list...but then she got to the point where she talked about hating fat people. I am an overweight woman. (Something that should be understood before you think that my 8 lb weight loss is an amazing thing. 8 lbs is wonderful, but I've a long way to go...) I don't define myself in most circumstances by my weight. I happen to think I have a whole truckload of redeeming characteristics, and most days I remember this. So, I brushed off the fact that this person who I have never, and probably never will, meet has decided I am worth hating.

Funny how the unconscious mind holds onto such moments. I tend to dream vibrantly with loads of color and action. I have sometimes wondered if being bipolar plays a part into that, but I have always dreamt like this. I remember dreams from elementary school age. I had a dream a couple of nights ago where I met this blogger. It was a group thing, in my own backyard. In my mind (dream mind) I kept thinking about how every time she looked at me she must be overflowing with hatred. But when we spoke she was polite enough. In the dream I decided it was her problem, not mine (I'm very proud of me for this..) and went about providing drinks etc. for the get together.

It makes me wonder how much her generic hatred toward obesity really bothers me. An odd, unsettled feeling has stayed with me since the dream.

Today was clean up day at my house. Often, Saturdays are the catch up days. My oldest, Heather 10 year-old has been wanting to spend the night at a friends house. She has desperately wanted permission to go. We (my husband and I) told her she had to have her room clean and then we would call the friend's mother and make arrangements for it. Heather had done some work on the huge mess during the week and was planning to get it all finished today. Oh wow. She and her younger sister share a room and Heather was always trying to get younger sis to help more. Heather though, had constant troubles remembering she was supposed to be cleaning up too. Every time today Heather was asked to do anything she would agree and then promptly forget and go about reading, playing..eating...

When we would explain to her she was going to lose all privileges in regards to attending sleep overs, she would start to cry and complain about how she has to do everything. Talk about a Cinderella complex. There was just no way to help her understand all she needed to do was to clean up her own mess.

So, where am I going with all these different thing? In every case it is all about perspective. I have the ultimate power over my choices. I can choose how to feel, even if it takes some work.

I really am happy to know more of my family are reading my blog. I love the thought that they will get to know me better. I have re-decided that this is a place about being me. About expressing myself in as genuine way as I can. That is why it has been so fun. Gaining acceptance for sharing myself is a powerful thing. I have to regrasp this desire in my writing.

I cannot change another person's view of overweightness (is that a word?). There are a multitude of reasons why losing weight has been difficult. (Having two babies in two years didn't help either...) I am who I am, whether fat or thin. And actually, it is too bad the talented blogger hates as she does. She is missing out on some really amazing people.

My daughter is 10. She has a long way to go before understanding what she has been feeling. I will be consistent with her and follow through with the loss of her privileges. I hope she comes to understand soon though because I love that she has made new, good, sweet friends over the summer. I want her to be able to build strong lasting relationships. She and I will sit down for a talk tomorrow. After this frustrating day she could probably really use some reassurances that she is loved.

I love writing. I love blogging. I have tried to express this love and desire to my sisters and my mom. It is difficult for some to understand how I can open myself..and my children in a sense to the world for judgment and in the cases of pictures, misuse. I respect their opinions and I am not careless in my blogging. I am glad I didn't let those worries prevent me from finding this enjoyable forum. I feel privileged to get to read other blogs and I am touched by those of you who visit me.
Coming soon!

My mom has agreed to look at guest posting for me. That will be a special treat.

Bullets on This and That

Some bullets because I want to post, but allergies and a sudafed stupor are making long extended thought difficult.

☺The summer monsoon has come! I like the thunderstorms this season brings, but I do not enjoy the muggy heat. The skies are always so pretty tho. Through June the skies are almost always completely lacking in clouds and is just a huge expanse of BLUE. It is really pretty in its own way. But now I look out my window and see the trees swaying in the breeze and the fluffy white clouds in the distance.

☺I am thankful for kind,good people. I realized today I had never really introduced myself to the man I sit next to every day during my little boys swim lessons. I rectified that today. Isn't funny that I can get to know someone and so much about him and his family and yet neither of us never think to say "Hi, my name is...". This is the same man who loaned me his cell phone when I locked my keys in the van.

☺I am thankful for my family. I really enjoyed out get together on Tuesday. I learned one of my sisters is moving to Texas. I will miss her. I am pretty sure near the end of the evening I ended up a bit over chatty and over opinionated. I blame missing my meds that morning. (Helps feel better if there is a reason for being an annoyance.) But my family is so great (or just know me so well LOL) they didn't make a big deal of it.

☺I'm not getting much writing done. I think I was a bit over optimistic (which is odd for me, I am usually over pessimistic) on how much I would get done this summer. Silly me though I'd have all this time while kids napped. Yeah right, what ten year-old naps?

☺I have lost 8 lbs this summer and I haven't changed my horrid eating habits one bit. Running around after kids and the time I have spent actually IN the pool seems to be making a difference. So, it is a pleasant surprise.

☺Being out at the pool has also tanned my pasty body. I haven't had a tan like this since...I don't remember when. I can even go make-up free most of the time as something about being out there has kept my skin looking pretty good.

☺Money, or the lack there of, is really hard. I will leave the thought at that I think. You all can relate I am sure.

So that's how my summer is going. It is keeping me very busy. I haven't had the chance to do much reading on my favorite blogs. I will be catching up over the weekend I hope. If I go to posting just once a week tho, I think Mommygoth will send me mental jabs.

Celebrating...

Happy Independence Day!

I feel blessed to have been born into this country. I recognize the advantages I have grown up with that so many around the world lack. I look over the history of this country and I am amazed at the loyalty and fierce patriotism that has constantly surfaced in times of trail. I know this same feeling continues to lurk in the heart of Americans today. Despite the struggles and chaos that at times seem to be taking over, I know we as a people will prevail. I do love the United States of America.

(Ok, now setting down the flag.)

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Alright, my Canadian friends it is okay to rejoin. I won't get overly sappy. (Happy Belated Canada Day to all of you!)

This holiday actually has something else on my mind. FOOD!
Admit it! Barbecues, chips, sodas..is such a big part of the celebration of this day! (I am sure the founding fathers would be proud.)

This year a bunch of the extended family is gathering at my aunt's house for swimming, barbecuing and visiting. I am really looking forward to it. My aunt sent out emails asking for volunteers to bring food. After seeing nobody else had signed up for it, I offered to make potato salad for the party.

My sister-in-law used to always make the potato salad for family get-togethers. She makes a most yummy potato salad and everyone was always very happy to have her make it. Sadly, she (with her family) moved out of state last fall. I hope I can live up to the legacy she has left behind.

It has me thinking about my signature dishes. Anybody who does much cooking has a couple of things they are known and appreciated for. I realized the two main things I am known for are desserts. Hmm...this says more about me than I am prepared to discuss in this post. So, my two dishes (at least the only two I can think of right now) are my apple pie and eclairs. I am very proud of both of those recipes. In general, I am well appreciated if I show up somewhere bearing either as a gift. I once gave a batch of the eclairs as a Christmas gift. The recipient felt very lucky.

So, what are your signature dishes? What do you make that the whole time your mouth is watering just waiting for the dish completion. It doesn't need to be a dessert. Whatever you make that your kids rush to the table for.

My mom has some great easy recipes she has developed over the years. A couple of years ago, she gave laminated cook books to each of her daughters/daughter-in-laws. I think maybe she got tired of me calling to get reminders of just how she made something. Coming from a large family the recipes are all for serving at least 10. Which now with the size of my family fits just right. Sometime I'll have to tell you about her homemade Christmas candy. YUM!

I'm really looking forward to hearing about your yummy dishes.