Another Random Thoughts Post... Hmm..where has my focus gone?

Hello blogging world. I just finished going through my bloglines list. I had so much to catch up on. I missed the computer today. I liked Hope's suggestion though about using the time sans computer to do all the summertime mommy things.

Next Monday swim lessons start up. The kids are also signed up to participate on the swimteam. This means, I get to show up at the pool at 8am. Those who really know me are going to get a chuckle out of this fact. I am not an early riser. So I have the plan in place on getting everything ready the night before so the kids and I can just stumble out to the van to get there on time. Who am I kidding? Half of the kids get up at 6am when Daddy leaves for work. Their windows face east. Their curtains and the huge bush in front of their windows can only do so much to fight against that summer sun.

I am tired tonight. We got to go to my son's pack meeting. Yes, my son is a cubscout. His grandma is the Cub Master. She is very excited to have her first grandson join in the fun. All the kids had such a blast. I was sitting there wondering about the score in the Suns game. LOL The passion for scouting is not a genetic thing. But my son loves every part of it. Maybe it skips a generation.

The Suns by the way found their energy again and beat the Mavericks 106 to 86. It felt so good after the game 3 loss they suffered on Sunday. Bring on game 5 on Thursday!!

My sister is heading out of town for three days this week. She is leaving her husband with their four children. I have offered to watch the kids on Thursday so that he will only have to take one day off of work this week. My house is not very big. Having 9 children here all day will be a test of every nerve. I think I will need to plan some activities tomorrow for Thursday. The oldest child is my 10 yr-old daughter the youngest is my 10 mo-old son. Which means, I will have:
-a 10 yr-old,
-a 8 yr-old,
-a 7 yr-old,
-two 6 yr-olds,
-a 4 yr-old,
-a 2 yr-old,
-an almost 1 yr-old (he is fives weeks to the day older than my baby)
-and my 10 mo-old.

They all love each other tremendously. It will be a fun day..if one that needs to be planned out.

I really appreciate all your comments about my computer woes. I really do have a wonderful husband. He has gone to bed and didn't complain even once while I monopolized the use of his laptop all night.

G'nite!

R.I.P My Lifeline to the World

It seems the sickness that has permeated this house has spread beyond any expectations. I hope you all will take a moment of silence with me in rememberance on this Memorial Day for my dearly departed.....computer.


Shhhh...



MOMENT OF SILENCE



Shhhh...






I noticed the symptoms last night. The failure to boot. The failure...to do anything at all. *SIGH*
I will miss that old computer. (It was REALLY old.)

I will miss the breaks I would take to get a soda, or a snack as it would load web pages. I will miss how it would kick me offline the moment I tried to download a video. I will miss it so very much...that is until my new one arrives in about two weeks.

The next two weeks...can you say....HELL???

I will have to go do something noncomputerish during the day. When my husband gets home from work...we will have to see if he really thinks those hugs are for him..or just so I can get my hands on his laptop.

The belief right now is that the problems are not hard drive related. So, I should be able to get back all my unbacked-up data...in about two weeks. *BIGGER SIGH* So if you sent me an email in the past oh..forever...and I haven't replied. Give it two more weeks. (Or email me again, I will suffer through the web email JUST for you!)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

On a happier note...today was really nice. The trip with family to visit my father's hometown was more pleasant than could be expected. Even the weather held out. Every time we visit that tiny little community (which has grown A LOT since I was a kid) I am reminded how grateful I am to be a city dweller. Farming life would not be for me. I think there is a future post in me about this one.

I hope to visit you all again soon. (Tell my husband he has to share!)

Random Fun

A couple of fun things before I head off to bed. I found this one at Phantom Scribbler,
I thought for sure I'd end up as Troi. Go figure. I love that all that unseen, unrecognized things I do as a mother ranks me high as An Expendable Character.
Your results:

You are Beverly Crusher


A good physician and a caring parent.
You are devoted to your children and
to your occupation.



Beverly Crusher 70%
An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 65%
Deanna Troi 60%
Uhura 60%
Geordi LaForge 55%
Data 49%
Spock 45%
Chekov 45%
James T. Kirk (Captain) 45%
Leonard McCoy (Bones)45%
Will Riker 40%
Jean-Luc Picard 40%
Worf 35%
Mr. Scott 30%
Mr. Sulu 30%


Click here to take the Star Trek Personality Test

****EDIT NOTICE**** ***The html given after the test has spacing problems when put in your blog. Be forewarned before choosing to do this one. (I spent a long time making it look decent)***

Then I saw this one at OmegaMom.
It is a visual representation of my website. Isn't my blog pretty?




What do the colors mean?
blue: for links (the A tag)
red: for tables (TABLE, TR and TD tags)
green: for the DIV tag
violet: for images (the IMG tag)
yellow: for forms (FORM, INPUT, TEXTAREA, SELECT and OPTION tags)
orange: for linebreaks and blockquotes (BR, P, and BLOCKQUOTE tags)
black: the HTML tag, the root node
gray: all other tags

You can go Here to make one of your own. I takes a little while but it is a lot of fun to watch.

==================================================

The family for the most part is healthier. Husband now has pinkeye AGAIN, but everyone was able to keep down all meals today, which was a HUGE improvement.

I hope you all have a great weekend!

A Whole Bunch of Stuff, with a Side of Ewww!

It is 2:31am right now. Why am I awake? Tonight the kids are all quiet in bed. This wasn't the case last night or the night before. The past couple of nights my boys have been sick. Throw up sick. My 8 yr-old sweet boy knocked on our door last night. He said quietly, "I just puked..". The perfect words to wake up any parent in the middle of the night.

I am grateful my girls have not caught it. I am hoping they don't. But who knows. This has been a cursed house this last month. Sickness has reigned supreme. We were all just getting better when this stomach virus hit.

Today we spent the day cleaning. Changed bedding for the upteenth time this week. I borrowed my in-laws carpet cleaner. The furniture and the carpet in the bedrooms get it tomorrow. (The rest of the house is tiled.)

I was so grateful my husband had this Friday off work. He works nine days, nine hour shifts and gets every other Friday off. He was thinking "Yay! Four day weekend!" But then I put him to work. Muhahahah.

One of the saddest things in the world is to watch a baby throw up. My baby started throwing up at his well check dr's appt on Wednesday. He weighed 21 lbs and then promptly threw up on the floor of the exam room. The pediatrician was all like, "How long has he been doing this?" I told her it just started. Really odd timing don't ya think? Course then the two yr-old gets all sick the next day. But the baby was doing better so I thought it's just a 24 hour kind of thing. But the baby was sick again today. Finally got him to keep down some gatorade. The pediatrician on Wednesday actually told me to give him some pedialyte. I must have been in some mood because I just laughed at her. I have yet to meet a kid who will drink that crud. We well meaning mothers keep buying it on the advice of those well meaning pediatricians but none of my kids would take it. So, I honestly asked her what kid drinks that stuff? Really it is so unlike me to be that blunt. Well that blunt to someone I admire and like. So, I just bought the baby some gatorade. He was able to keep some down before he went to bed. I am soooo grateful.

Anyway, this has been so run-on-ish. Remember..I told you in a previous post..I Am the TANGENT QUEEN. I just usually edit them all out before posting. After 11 years of marriage I have finally learned to preface new tangents by telling my husband, "this is totally unrelated" before continuing. It helps our conversations immensely.

Oh, I just misspelled immensely. I put an e at the beginning instead of an i. Thank goodness for spell checkers. Spelling has never been my strong suit. I just usually know enough to double check before posting. Tho (and my tho's are intentional misspellings so they don't count) when I don't feel well I don't always double check when I write comments places. I butchered a word in a comment today (well, Friday, but since I haven't gone to bed for the night yet...). It has been bugging me since I realized it. See talk about tangents. This really is all connected with the topic of this post. I promise.

See, I let it out in the paragraph above, why I am up at this horrendous hour of the night/morning. I caught the stomach virus. It makes sense. After all, I've been the one snuggling with the sick babies. I just haven't thrown up like this since I was pregnant, with a girl. That was over six years ago! I got a lot sicker with my girls than my boys. That happen to you? Ok, now that is just getting off topic.

I can't sleep when I am waiting to know it is all over. So, I got up to see if I there was a post in me yet. That reminds me of the They Might Be Giants song.. Number Three..
Sometimes I feel like that...
Like I still have things to say, but I just am not sure how to do it..

I really want to post about how I was finally properly diagnosed as being bipolar. I haven't felt well and so I fear my concentration is lacking so desperately I won't be able to get it out of me right. So, I am putting it off until I get better.

Now to something totally unrelated:

Monday, Memorial Day, is the day my entire family (everyone who can) travels to visit my dad's grave. He was buried in his families plot in a little farming community in southeastern Arizona. It is a 3 1/2 hour drive. It is in a city cemetery that the city doesn't keep up. So we pack the racks and hoes and go clean things up. This is the one time a year when the whole family tries to go all together. I have two brother's who within the last year have moved out of state. We will miss them.

While it is wonderful to get together and all...It is a tough trip. My oldest still cries on occasion because she misses grandpa. These trips often bring a lot of that back out of her. She and I can usually talk it through and she is okay with it all again. She has such a sensitive heart. I love her for it, but it is so hard to see her struggle with it too.

I miss my dad too.

I hope everyone is well enough for the trip on Monday. So, I guess it was a related topic after all.

I hope you are all healthy and happy right now. I'm going to go try to lay down and sleep again.

Blogroll Update...Take a LOOK!

It is time once again to update my blogroll. Okay it was really time about a month ago but it is tedious to get in there and write the code, so I put it off. I have quite a few I am adding, but I wanted to make sure they each get a moment before being shuffled off to the bottom of the list.


►and Baby Makes 6 ...Jody used to be a Dolphin trainer. Nuff said. (Go see the pics on her page now!)

►Ginny's Many Words ...Ginny juggles a lot. Kids...National Guard(about to get a promotion)...College (She just graduated, stop by and congratulate her.)

►Children and Cheerios on the Loose ...I've brieftly wondered if Cheerio's on my butt (Yes that is name she has choosen for her online life...) and I were seperated at birth. She has one more kid than me tho. Course, she's also a lot funnier than me. Does that make me the boring twin?

►Holymama! ....She gets a lot of comments. But I never feel lost in the masses like some places I visit. She is funny and relatable.

►Issa's World ....This is one of my newer visits. I have been very impressed with her personal responses in my email. When I read there I get the feeling I'm being pulled along down a current. It is a fun ride.

►POW ...She loves the sun and So. Cal. She also says things as she sees them. I wish I had more of her natural boldness.

►Phantom Scribbler ...She has a Wednesday whining session every week. It can be a real stress relief to go to an open whining forum. She also has amazing kids who love the Red Sox, or Weh Hox as her daughter says.

►Roc Rebel Granny ....I think if I knew Ann in person I'd find myself drawn to her. She's a tough lady with a giving heart. I enjoy hearing about her family.

►OwlHaven ....I've been reading here for sometime. Mary is mom to 8 kids and she homeschools. She treats mothering as an art. She is a remarkable lady.


I so often find myself in the words other people are writing on their blogs. I feel lucky to have found such an amazing forum.

GO SUNS!

Leandro Barbos and Steve Nash

The Phoenix Suns won game one of the Western Conference Finals yesterday. It was a nail biter. A last minute shot by Boris Diaw handed them the victory.

This is Diaw making that amazing shot.

The Mavericks and the Suns are well matched. The game was quite close the whole way through. I am looking forward to the remaining games.

I think a lot of upcoming basketball hopefuls would do well to take a second look at Steve Nash. He grew up playing hockey, soccer and lacrosse. Basketball became the game for him in high school but it is not where he got his start. The skills learned in the other sports, especially hockey can teach a lot about passing and team technique versus individual stardom.

Game 2 tomorrow at 5:30pm. You know where I'll be!

GO SUNS!

Square What??

My husband showed me this picture this evening. I had the thought... but he likes his melons round.

Thoughts upon Thoughts

Somethings that have been on my mind:

<> Last Thursday Phantom Scribbler wrote a post about commenting on blogs. It actually made me think a lot about my own thought process for when I comment and when I don't. I try to leave thoughtful comments, but sometimes a quick shout out works best for the particular post. I like commenting. I understand there is a responsibility to be considerate and to watch words carefully because tone is tough thing to translate from words on a screen. I made a few mistakes in my early days blogging and I am grateful for the patience I received in response. I am lucky to have such supportive commenters. I appreciate each of you very much.

<> I've been thinking about the end of school. My children's last day of school is tomorrow. Then they are mine for the summer! I realize I have a lot of my fellow bloggers to thank for my current perspetive on motherhood. In past years I have dreaded the work that comes with our summer activities. There have been days I have simply called off all activities because it just seemed so overwhelming. Of course, the past two years I have spent the summer having just had a baby or still pregnant and miserable. I have to keep in mind that colored my view of summertime. I enjoy reading about your children. I look forward to sharing more about the wonderful, smart things my kids do. Blogging is good for mothering.

<> I've stalled a bit in my writing plans for the summer. I got an email from a classmate this weekend though that has refocused me a bit. She is offering to be my personal reader in exchange for the same in return. It seems the group she's been working with try to be too nice in their critiques. Not that she thinks people should be mean, but one shouldn't have to worry about causing offense when giving well intentioned feedback, especially in a forum set up just for that purpose. So, I will get back on track writing very soon.

<> Finally...I've been contemplating writing about being bipolar. What I'm bipolar? Yep I am. Type 2 Bipolar. It sometimes has such an affect on my thoughts and feelings that it would be a relief to express it here. Trouble is the bipolar mood disorder is so often misrepresented in movies and television it is understandably often misunderstood. I don't want to turn this into a bipolar blog. No contests about whether my weather pixie is depressed or manic today, sorry. So, I've been struggling with whether opening myself up to such an extent will just scare people away, or if it will help my blogging friends understand and love me even more. So, I thought that if instead of investing myself completely into an essay I might never post, I ought to just throw out the fact in a bulleted list and see what people say. What do you think? Want to know more?

On a lighter note, my husband found this really cool picture thing...It questions a bit, what is the real memory and what is the memory of a memory. Have fun with it!

INFORMATION

The first game of the Western Conference Finals is tonight! It starts at 5:30pm MST or PDT. Here in Arizona we don't do that Day Light Savings stuff. Who wants more daylight when it is 115F out?? So half the year we are on the same time as California (like right now) and the other half we are the same as Utah. (How's that for a tangent? I am the tangent QUEEN! Fear me! LOL)

GO SUNS!!!

A Moment of Fanaticism

The Phoenix Suns have made it to the Western Conference Finals!!!
It took 14 games against Los Angelas Teams but they did it!

This is Steve Nash. He was the league MVP for the second year in a row. He is the reason the Suns have gotten this far missing two of their starters. That is why he made to the front of the Wheaties box.

GO
SUNS!

Birthday Number Two

This is my boy Robert. He turned two years-old last Saturday, May 20th. He is such a beautiful boy. We were so excited about you joining our family even before you were born. We even paid to have one of those 3-D ultrasounds done.



He liked getting his picture taken even then. Now, he will stop and pose and smile. But then he insists on seeing the camera so that he can push all the buttons too. He absolutely loves anything with buttons. Telephones, remote controls, cameras, computers are just a start. He has a need to push any and all buttons he sees.

He also loves anything with wheels. Grandma gave him a tractor for his birthday and he sits with the tractor upside down and spins those wheels like crazy. He loves little matchbox type cars too. He will get them all out and line them up across the tile floor.



He was a beautiful baby. He has a big head. Literally, a large head. He has always been 95% with head size even as weight and height would vary. You will also never see a picture of him with perfect hair. He has this superman curl cowlick at the front of his hairline. As a baby, I called it his kissing spot and would kiss him constantly on that little curl. Now his hair has grown long and blond and is impossible to get to lay flat. Even when I cut it short, it still sticks up in front.

He has gorgeous blue eyes surrounded by long dark lashes. Big pink cheeks and a grin that absolutely melts me. That grin has made it easier to forgive and love him still even as he dumps the vanilla all over the kitchen rug. Or as he draws with crayon down the hallway walls.

Despite those moments, he really is an obedient little boy. I tell him to sit and he sits, at least for a moment. I tell him to come here and he comes. I tell him to throw his used diaper into the trash and he scampers off to do it. When it is time to put away his toys, he rushes over and helps fill the toybox. After such moments, he insists on having a hug to tell him what a good boy he is.

He has a boundless love for those he adores. Grandma and Aunt M are special favorites. If they walk through the front door, all buttons, cars, toys, are forgotten and he run us squealing with delight. He gives long hugs. He wraps his arms around tight while resting his head on the shoulder. He is usually content to stay there for as long as you are willing to hold him. Daddy gets a special, "HI DADDY!" when he gets home.

Robert is a boy of few words, but of great understanding. He is good with the 'hello'. If you aren't quick enough, he'll run into the bedroom and pick up the phone before you and say 'hello' and then go on with his gibberish talk. He says banana...but it sounds more like labalabala (the sound when you quickly say lalalalala with your tongue coming out of your mouth).

He loves his brothers and sisters. His oldest sister, Heather, is a special favorite. She will sit and read to him endlessly and he just can't get enough. The only sibling to annoy him is his younger brother Brandon. Brandon will try to take things from him as he is playing now. Robert looks at him and says a firm "NO" and then moves away. Brandon of course, now crawling tries to follow. I tell Robert to get used to it. He will have a life time of this.


Robert got a cupcake with blue frosting for his birthday treat. He thought it was quite yummy.



Yes, it is a blurry picture, but it was still too cute not to share.

Happy Birthday Robert.

Can I Just Bury My Head in the Sand?

Hey all..

Just a quick post before I go lay down again. I have been very sick. It started to come on last Wednesday but the past two days I've mostly been in bed, or trying to hold the house together. Anyway, I have a link to entertain you. I have been following this guy for awhile now. It really is best if you just go to his site and explore and learn what it is all about. It is a ton of fun!

One Red Paperclip

He is up to his twelfth trade. So, if any of you are big Alice Cooper fans you may want to offer something before he makes his decision.

Enjoy!

Coming Soon: My updated blogroll!

Five Things Meme

I was tagged by Hope. So here ya go!

FIVE THINGS...

In my car (minivan):

1. 2 car seats. Toddler one facing forward, baby one facing backward.
2. Video player with drop down monitor. Right now we only have dumbo video in the van. Summer is here, any more and they'll melt.
3. Yesterdays junk mail. I brought in the water bill, the rest was junk.
4. Double stroller in the back.
5. Trash (straw wrappers, school papers, a soda can or two, etc.)


In my purse:

1. 2 Driver's license. (One was lost by a child and then found after I got the new one.)
2. Crayons (I have a special zipped up pocket just for a couple a crayons.)
3. Lip Gloss and chapstick. (Boys don't like lip gloss.)
4. Costco card. (Remember 5 kids...)
5. 1 pair of bead earrings. (They had trouble staying in...)


In my closet:

1. 4 different sizes of maturnity clothes.
2. My wedding dress. Much too small but it looks so pretty hanging there.
3. My husbands tie rack with at least 3 dozen ties on it.
4. A black velvet dress I will wear again by next Christmas.
5. That shelf were I hide birthday/Christmas gifts months ahead of the holiday.


In my fridge:

1. Left over spaghetti with the best ricotta cheese sauce..yum!
2. Tortillas and cheese.
3. Whole milk and 1%milk.
4. My case of diet Mt. Dew
5. Gallons of water.
(Oh there are veggies in there too, so you all don't think I feed my kids cheese crisps and spaghetti only LOL.)


In my head:

1. Several ideas for blog posts.
2. Schedules! Dr. appt this afternoon for daughter. Camping trip tomorrow for son. Swimming at my aunt's house on Sat...it is a running list..constantly.
3. Congestion. Colds/Allergies (I don't know which this is) suck!
4. Running list of chores that need to get done...laundry, dishes, mopping, bathrooms...
5. Worry. My husband has pinkeye and is blind without his contacts. He is in taking a nap and I worry he is sleeping on my pillow. I am the only one besides the baby who hasn't gotten it. He is using eyedrops..I will wash the bedding before I sleep tonight.

And now to tag five of you:

1. Turtle Guy over at Dave's Armchair. (Wadical did this, so you can too. Just substitute your right front pocket for purse.)
2. Mary on a Mission.
3. Ginny from Ginny's Many Words. (I'm new to read on her blog. I really enjoy it tho.. I hope you don't mind Ginny)
4. Nancy at Mom/Ma'am/Me
5. Judy at Anybody Home

I hear the drizzle of the rain, Like a memory it falls...

This looks like an innocent little almost 2 yr-old doesn't it?
You know what he did with that bottle in his hand?
I bet you could guess.

It was a bottle half full of vanilla extract. Expensive vanilla extract that I absentmindedly left on the kitchen counter after making french toast for dinner last night.

This adorable little boy, opened up that twist on cap (something he's been doing for way too long, twist off should be HARD for a toddler not EASY.).


He dumped it onto the kitchen rug. The house smelled of vanilla. My 6 yr-old little girl asked me what I was baking. She said it smelled good.

I didn't think it smelled all that good. It made me sneeze and sneeze. If I didn't have a cold I bet it would have been even worse.

I threw the rug in the wash; made my son hold the bottle again so I could get the picture (seeing the world as a blogger is very different than it was as just a mom.) Then I had him help me wipe up the remaining mess on the floor.

He got a bit upset at me, until I gave him a banana. The boy would eat bananas all day long if I'd let him. But I don't need to make my baby constipated, so he gets frustrated with me when I tell him, "No More Bananas."

He's getting much better at throwing his fits. He never bonks his head on the tile floor. Very smart little boy knows not to completely lose control. Of course he hates it when I laugh at him, laying red faced on the floor. He always hops up to follow me after I get up and walk away.

I am grateful he isn't (yet?) a stubborn fit thrower.



See, he happily ate his banana. All thoughts of being mad at mommy were gone.

He is napping now..as is baby brother. I am so glad I have them on the same nap schedule. You know how tough that is with babes 14 mo. apart?

_____________________________________________________

We here in Phoenix, had the strangest weather yesterday. This is supposed to be the ultra dry season. May through beginning of July is dry as a bone. It is where that phrase, "At least it's a dry heat" comes from. Stupid phrase too if you ask me. When it is 115F, it is hot, so hot you don't care about anything else. When there is humidity, it doesn't stay that hot. It rains.

Anyway, I got lost there on a tangent for a bit. Back to the strange weather of yesterday. It was as if we had suddenly been dropped into the beginning of August. July and August are humid and hot here. It is the Monsoon season. The best part of the Monsoon are the thunderstorms.

I enjoyed the momentary storms yesterday and I took pictures! I thought you might enjoy seeing the contrasts:

This was the view from my front walk yesterday around 4pm. Isn't it great?

This is looking the other direction. If you look close you can see that the palm trees are being blown about.

This is of course how the sky looks today. It was at least 100F out when I took this picture, but isn't it a pretty sky? Look at the lingering clouds. So pretty.

Those are the pictures I wasn't able to post earlier. Just a couple of moments from life. Now off to the kids' band concert. The end of school is coming next week. Did I tell you I am looking forward to it? Have a great evening and DON'T tell me what happens in Amazing Race, my sister is gonna give me a copy so I can see it. Darn those school functions messing up my TV viewing LOL.

And since my husband jumped in quick on that last title/song lyric, here's another one! Ten points if you tell me the song! But I won't even list the points in my sidebar like Gina does. It is all about the personal victory.

If I Could, I Surely Would. . .

Blogger isn't letting me post any pictures right now. This is making me rather sad. I have things to share! *grumble* *grumble* Stupid blogger. If I weren't me...or maybe if I were all alone, I might use different words, but in this house, stupid is the "S" word. heh

So, while I wait for blogger to once again deign me worthy of posting pictures, go enjoy this funny, interesting, insightful? post:

TURTLE GUY and NOTHIN' BUT TROUBLE

And yes, take the time to listen to the songs as you read the lyrics.

Hope- yes I see you tagged me. I will reciprocate soon. Probably tomorrow, because darn it I have pictures to post! LOL

Oh and ten points if you can name the group my title comes from. Just remember these are points like Gina gives. They don't mean much.

Hallucinations?? All About Me??

IF YOU FOUND ME THROUGH A SEARCH FOR HALLUCINATIONS, PLEASE CONTINUE READING.

I've been thinking a bit about how people find this place. Over the past week there has been an increase in the number of people visiting from a search on MSN for the word "Hallucinations". Apparently, this blog is the fourth link on the list when using the MSN search engine for this information.

Hello all those searching for information about Hallucinations. I am sorry to say I have very little experience with hallucinating in the traditional sense. Unless you count seeing something out of the corner of my eye and me looking up to see who is there, but there isn't anyone. If you truly need medical information regarding hallucinations you can go here. But I hope you stick around and see what this blog is really all about.

__________________________________________________

Ok, got that business taken care of. There is a story about why my blog is called Hallucinations, but that is mostly for another time. Part it though is that it is a play on the idea of my stories, poetry and other writings. Good fiction after all can make you feel like you are there with the characters.

I've realized also, that I haven't ever done a introduction post about me. While again, in good writing it is best to never give a monologue about a character's description, I figure it can't hurt to give a few of the basics. POW asked in the comments of my last post if I have five children. It got me thinking that I don't usually just spell out such things. So, here ya go:

* I am 31 years old. This is an amazing thing for me as I really only feel 20 inside. But then I think back to who I was at 20 and realize she isn't me anymore. So, I have learned to accept that 31 isn't as old as I thought it was as a kid.

* I have been married for over 11 years. If you do your math you will see that I was married at the age of 20. Yep I was a kid, only I thought I was all grown up. Funny what 11 years of perspective with give you. I love, adore, like, need my husband. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. The best part? That even after all this time..and all these kids..he still thinks I'm sexy! Don't ya just love it?

* I have five children. No multiple births. The oldest is 10. Again math lovers you will calculate that my first was born a year after we got married. More specifically she was born one year 13 days after the wedding. Her name is Heather, her nicknames are boo boo bunny (she was born the day before Easter), hare, hair, hairball (altho this one has tapered off as she's gotten older.) I will give complete stories of nicknames another time. My second child is Dale and he is 8 years-old. His nicknames are puppy and monkey boy. My third child is Deborah. Her nicknames are Deb, bear bear, boo, little bear. She is 6 years-old. I call them all hunny, sweetie, babe, baby, buddy too, but those are shared nicknames. My fourth child is Robert. After three kids, we thought for a time we were done. But we weren't (also a lengthy story for another post). Robert will be 2 years-old this Saturday. His nickname is Bob, altho as he's gotten older we use it less and less. My baby is Brandon and he is 10 mo.-old. His nickname is baby boy. Eventually there will be more, but he needs to show us more of who he is first.

I know there is a lot of thought out there about not using your childs' names in your blog. For the most part I refer to them by their age, not their names. But my husband and I have discussed these things in detail and are comfortable with the levels we have chosen. I give this disclaimer only because I have seen discussions on other blogs about this very issue and I don't want this post to turn into that.

* I am very close to my mother. My father died 4 1/2 years ago of a sudden massive heart attack. My grandparents have all passed. I am very close also with my husband's family. He was raised extremely well. I have many brothers and sisters that I will reference very little as I feel like they have not given me permission to share anything about them. The one exception is my brother who draws the web comic and anything you learn of him will be at his site VRcomic.com. (You should all go visit him and use the link on his homepage to vote for his comic!)

Those are my basics. At least the basics of the people in my life. I am thinking about writing a post about all the jobs I've had and how they compare to life as a stay-at-home mom. So that will probably be coming soon enough.

Any questions? I can't promise to answer in comments but if there is something you really wish to know, ask it there and I will email you if I feel it best answered privately. Opening myself up is a tough thing. I have learned that my writing here is much better when I share more of myself in the telling. So, there may be some great posts in me that just need to be shaken out.

The Day After. . .

Good afternoon!

I hope everyone enjoyed Mother's Day. Whether you are a mom or spent with a special woman.

Let me share my day with you.

I woke up early and was really awake. This is unusual for me. My husband had just gone out to take care of the kids. I figured it was only 7am, I didn't have to get up yet and it was Mother's Day. So, I laid there and tried to go back to sleep. I was unsuccessful. So I got up and showered. Normally I shower on Saturday night as there is quite a fight for the showers and hot water Sunday mornings. I hadn't so I got the first shower of the day. That was special.

As I was getting dressed, I heard all sorts of noises coming from the kitchen and I smelled something cooking. But, nobody had told me to come on out yet, and so I started gathering church clothes for all the kids and my husband. I ironed all that needed ironing still and had them all set up on my bed, ready for the after shower rush. Over all, I felt quite calm and peaceful.

Finally, I figured I better go see what is up in the front of the house. I walked out and the living room had been picked up and my husband was still in the kitchen making all sorts of noises with running water and pots and pans. The kids seeing me were so excited to get to FINALLY give me their Mother's Day gifts. They hadn't wanted to wait, but I kept telling them, "Put it somewhere safe and give it to me on Mother's Day." I opened up two pair of (child)handmade bead dangling earrings and one long bead necklace. I was given two plants and several special made cards. It was all terribly sweet. They all got hugs and thank yous. Having learned they had already eaten cereal for breakfast, I sent them all off to shower and dress. Husband came out and gave me a kiss and hug and then disappeared back into the kitchen. So I scooped up the babies and went and bathed them and dressed them for church.

I was helping with the finishing touches on the clothes (tying son's tie, buttoning up the back of dresses etc.) and my husband joined me in our room. We talked a bit about what the kids still needed to do, but things were under control and good. And then husband explained, he had burned breakfast and it was inedible. I thought, no biggie we'll figure something else out. (And in his defense, he is a fine cook and rarely burns things. He was helping with the dishes I hadn't finished up and had looked away a bit too long. Washed dishes are better than homemade breakfast anytime.)

He was unsure what to do and instead went to help find the almost 2 yr-olds shoes. Then husband returned. He looked pale and sick. He said he hadn't eaten and wasn't feeling well. Ah, well...Husband is diabetic and his blood sugar had dropped. So, he laid down and I went and got breakfast quickly. He had yet to shower and get ready for church and time was getting tight. We talked about how he felt and he wasn't doing so good. When his blood sugar drops like that it makes him EXTREMELY tired. Tired like he had no choice but to stop and sleep. So, I left the napping baby home with him and gathered up the rest of the kids and we headed off to church.

I was sitting with my mom at church. She has a special relationship with my toddler. He sat on her lap the whole time and she thankfully entertained him quietly. After awhile I was looking at my kids and thought, hmmm Deb's (6 yr-old) eye looks really red. So, then I looked at my son's (8 yr-old) eyes. He had a really red eye that was all gunky too. Then I looked at 10 yr-old, pinkeye earlier in the week, eyes. She look perfectly fine. UGH! I had two more cases of pinkeye! Almost 2 yr-old boy looked fine, but was getting very grumpy and tired himself. The whole age two thing is hitting him hard. He likes to throw himself on the floor and scream when he gets real tired now. I keep telling him he ought to kick his feet too but he hasn't figured it out yet.

SO....

I left 10 yr-old sharer of the pinkeye at church with Grandma (my mom brought her home too) and I took the other three home. So much for a relaxing afternoon at church. Oh wait, it is never relaxing. Sometimes wonderful and inspiring, but rarely relaxing. I went home, made lunch for the kids and sat at my computer reading your wonderful blog posts about mothers and Mother's Day.

Husband woke up and I explained what happened. We put the eye drops in the kids' eyes and I went and took a nap. I woke up in time for the Suns game! Which I didn't get to see, because we instead went and visited my mother-in-law and my mom. But I listened on the radio as we drove all over town. They lost.

After reading all of this, you may be thinking I'm complaining. But you know, I don't feel let down by Mother's Day. I have a wonderful husband who would love to make sure I am pampered and given breakfast in bed every day. I have sweet children who, despite my snapping at them and telling them to clean up after themselves constantly, still love me and are filled by my attention and compliments. I love to watch them glow after just a few moments of reminding them how special they are. I have a mother-in-law who is patient and accepting. I adore her! (And that isn't just because I know she now reads my blog. REALLY!) I have a mom who is constantly still teaching me through her example. I wrote a whole post about her here.

I found that it was a day about counting my blessings. I have so many. And now I have bead jewelry too!

Happy Mother's Day

A couple of years ago I read this poem by Linda Ellis. I don't know much about her, but the poem fit my need for an all encompassing Mother's Day poem. I still find it a sweet poem and thought it would nice to share it with you.

"Who Else"


Also, I wrote a poem awhile back and I shared it here. I've reworked it a bit and want to offer it as my poetry offering for Mother's Day. This is my vision of motherhood.

BABY BOY


I am in another room
Yet, he touches me.
I feel his tiny warmth
Wrap solidly around my heart.
I melt, yet
He holds me up as
My soul gently soars

He cannot walk.
Yet, he lifts and carries me
Down the hall.
He Pulls me to him.
I wrap him in my arms
Lift him to my ear;
And his laughter fills me.

I want to wish you all a very happy mother's day. I hope your day is wrapped in love however it works for you to celebrate motherhood. We mothers are blessed to have the opportunity to share in God's work as we raise our little ones.

I won't be posting tomorrow. So, carry my wishes with you until Monday.

My Little Boo

Boo from Monsters, Inc. is my new profile pic.

When we first saw the movie, we fell in love with the little girl. She was so sweet. She was trusting, adventuresome and downright adorable. She didn't speak much in the movie..some babbling, boo! and kitty. That is how she came to be called Boo!

At the time the movie came out, I had a little Boo. She was two years old and such a free little spirit. Her name is Deborah. Her nick name was given to her by her older brother when she was born. He couldn't say De-Bor-ah and called her beh beh. We thought it sounded a lot like Bear Bear and so that is who she became. But, after the movie Monsters, Inc came out, we added in Boo.


Deb has always been my curious adventuresome child. She has to see, touch, experience everything around her. She doesn't just sit to watch TV she feels this need to walk across the back of the couch at the same time (much to my displeasure). She never walks when skipping and cartwheels will do. In fact, she made a bit of a science out of learning to do cartwheels. EVERYWHERE there was more than five feet of free floor space, she was doing cartwheels. It didn't matter was she was wearing, skirts, dresses, pants, shorts, pajamas.



Her sense of style is another brilliant example of her saucy personality. Dresses are always preferable. But if not a dress or skirt, then anything pink or yellow. She takes special pride in trying to match her clothes well. She has trouble understanding that just because a shirt has flowers on it doesn't necessarily match the flower pattern on the pants she wants to wear. Some days her clothing choices make me cringe, but she always puts so much thought into it that unless inappropriate for the weather, I let her wear whatever it is. In the picture, she has moved her poncho to be her skirt while she is performing.

She is so smart. She has a memory that astonishes me. Just a moment ago she was asking me about a friend who moved away a couples years ago. (She is six now, so she was four then.) This was a friend she would have tea parties with. She was trying to remember her name. She said she needs a new friend to have tea parties with and started listing her MANY friends to figure out who would be best.

She is constantly surprising me as she uses her Boo logic to figure things out. Everything has to have a reason, and she is determined to figure them out. In fact, I think she and I have been debating since the she the day she started speaking in sentences. She always has an opinion and she always has a reason for her opinion.


She is so smart that when didn't realize until just this last Christmas time that the girl is quite far-sighted. Far-sightedness has to do with the shape of the eyeball. If the eyeball is too short, the person is far-sighted. This is a genetic thing. She has ALWAYS been far-sighted. Go figure. I never knew. I went through a period of horrible guilt over the not knowing. How could I not know my kids can't see? The eye-doctor after the first exam kept reassuring me it is because she is so smart that she never had any developmental troubles. She never acted like she couldn't see so how could I know?
(Oh and my camera was doing funny things at the time the picture was taken, it isn't your computer ;-) )

So, now my little observer can see everything better with her glasses. When she returned to school after winter break with the glasses and I explained how poor her vision is without them; I completely shocked her Kindergarten teacher. Her teacher said, she is the top of her class without the glasses, we are in trouble now.

If you haven't seen it, this would be a great moment to revisit her and her jellyfish from this post.


I often wish I could see the world as she sees it. There is always something interesting to do, to explore, to experience. That is why I chose to become Boo in my profile picture. It is my reminder to find those moments in my life, because they are there. In the way my girls are letting their almost 2 yr-old brother play with them as they string beads on strings for necklaces and bracelets. In the way my wonderful husband is sitting on the couch softly tickling our baby's neck. In the way my poor 8 yr-old boy's head is hurting him so badly he is laying on his bed, in his dark room. (I fear I passed along my migraines to him, he gets bad headaches on occasion like this.) Not all adventures are exciting and fun, but they can be interesting and there is certainly something to learn from them.

Now, the Suns playoff game is on now. I am going to go cheer them on.
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On my links list to the right of this post is my brother's comic web site. Go ahead and vote again! Vote daily if you remember. He is having his best month of votes ever and I thankyou for your helping in lifting his spirits.

Clocks, Bubbles and Sleepwalking

I must have a pretty boring life. I sat here at my computer this afternoon, in my normal afternoon nap for the baby boys time slot. Not a single idea for a post came to me. My mind was just blank. So I just wandered around the other blogs I read and figured I guess I just don't need to post today.

Then tonight things got a little silly. During a commecial break during ER (yes I still watch it) my husband got up to get his computer bag. While I was sitting there complaining about the obvious political agenda of the writers of the show he handed me something in a bubblewrap bag. I looked at him he said, "It's my clock for reaching my ten year anniversary at work." Ah, they had a little awards luncheon today. He's actually been working there 13 years, but they start counting from the first fiscal year he was full time. So I pulled out the little clock from it's baggy.
Here it is:



I had to scan it to have a picture of it. I'm not sure where I hid my camera from the almost two yr-old.
My husband said it was okay to leave on the name of the college where he works. He said, it's good advertising.
So, if you are really curious about Rio Salado College, they have an excellent online course program. You can visit them here.

Well, I congratulated my husband and told him I thought the little 4" clock would be a cute paperweight on my his desk. I then went back to watching TV, with the clock on my lap and the bubblewrap bag in my hands. I absentmindely started popping and popping and popping. I had so much fun that by the time the show was over, I couldn't find any remaining bubbles to pop. I remember, my dad would get bubble wrap when he order dental supplies, he would give it to us kids. We would cut it into equal size pieces and just go to town. What a racket we made, but it was oh so fun!

Now, my kids love bubblewrap too. I had a big role of it that we used part of for a party game when my daughter turned 6 last winter. I also had the role because I went through a brief ebay period. I might yet return to it, who knows. So, I wasn't planning on my kids popping my bubblewrap. I thought I might just need it. It was too enticing tho. Despite my warnings to leave it alone, they ended up completely popping it. They had a ton of fun with it. It took me back to my love of it as a kid.

So there I sat tonight, popping away while ER played out in front of me. People died, people went crazy, people were very sad through most of it. At the end of the show, my husband laughed at me. He asked if I'd gotten them all and I said sadly that I had.
Here is what is left of the bag. If you look close, you will see not a bubble left inflated.



I guess bubblewrap is more toy than useful tool in this house.

Now, bubblewrap is plenty amusing all on its own, but my son provided the exclamation point to the night. My 8 yr-old, wonderful excitable boy, is a sleepwalker. Not so crazy a sleepwalker that we have to tie him to bed or anything. But, when he wakes up in the night needing to pee, he sometimes fails to fully wake up. Most of the time he has no problem peeing in the toilet in his sleep (there was that one time he pee'ed in the hallway, thank goodness for tile!). Tonight was one of the nights he didn't make it back to bed. He came out to the living room, turned and went through the kitchen to the kitchen table. He crawled over the chairs to the one in the corner and sat, then put his head down on his arms on the table.

He had been finishing up his homework at that table just before heading to bed, so I think his mind was reliving doing homework or something. More like a nightmare if you ask me. Husband walked over and asked him if everything was ok. He said a sleepy yeah. Husband then told him to go to bed, he said ok. He stood and went back to bed. Very funny. All the while I sat in the living room, trying to find one last bubble to pop.

I think I need to buy some bubblewrap and then use it as an incentive for my kids to complete their chores. That is if I can keep from popping it all first.

Drawing Back The Curtains (just a bit)

I found this meme at Anybody Home where Judy says she's boring, but she isn't.
Listing is a powerful writing tool, when you are searching toward the center of a topic, or just something to write about. I like this one. It can be a little window into the writer. So let me pull back my curtains a bit and let you peek inside.




I AM: Mom, Mommy, Mama, oshee, Holly.
I WANT: world peace, um..and yard service.
I WISH: motivation, drive, willpower all matched up with my intentions, desires, wishes.
I HATE: ants, bees and spiders. None of them belong in my home!
I MISS: my dad.
I FEAR: failure and success.
I HEAR: Clifford the Big Red Dog, Seasame Street, Dragon Tales...etc.
I WONDER: why I am so horribly messed up sometimes.
I REGRET: so much sometimes, it won't all fit in my mind.
I AM NOT: a mechanic, computer technician, or landscaper.
I DANCE: infrequently, but am reminded how I used to dance with my kids. My husband would sit and laugh as we would boogie around the room. I need to dance more.
I SING: really well. I sing in church. I sing solos. I sing soprano. I love to sing.
I CRY: frequently.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: sitting at my computer.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: cross stitches, baked goods, folded laundry, clean babies.
I WRITE: even when I have nothing to say.
I CONFUSE: my husband. Especially when I mumble at him in my sleep like this morning.
I NEED: to clean out my garage.
I SHOULD: finish my Seattle posts.
I START: over when I things become too overwhelming.
I FINISH: the dishes rarely.
I TAG: anyone who thinks they might enjoy this one.


A while back I changed my profile picture. Can you tell me who she is?

VR COMIC A plea for your Vote..

My brother has a web comic. VR Comic.
His Comic is listed on TopWebComics.com.
He has had a really tough couple of weeks.

It would be a huge boost for him, if you would all go to his website, click on the link to vote right there on the home page, and vote for his comic. I can only do it once a day.

Feel free to stick around and look at his work too. He is currently going to school to get a bachelor's in animation. He is a great guy.

Thanks!

A Little of This, A Little of That...

Heather 10 yr-old with pinkeye



Deborah 6 yr-old

The cool place to make one of yourself!

I found the link to make this on another blog I just recently started reading. A Typical Life. net. I showed my girls this morning and they decided they just had to make one of themselves. They have great imaginations don't they? Because they really don't have pink and purple hair. I promise!

Today I wish I had one of those full size huge trampolines. Doesn't that sound like fun? Bounce, Bounce, Bounce! Let the world and it's worries just bounce off me as I soar high and pretend I am flying.

This Saturday is a combined cousin birthday party for my son and my neice. They are both turning 2. They were born a week apart. They are beautiful wonderful kids and the party should be a lot of fun.

I am, however, having some stress with the planning of it. Which surprises me. This is my fourth to turn 2. So, there has to be more to the stress. Alas, I will prevail! The stress causers will all be thrown to the wolves (heh I wish). But that is all I can say about that. (Oooo, I sounded like Forest Gump there..)

My pinkeye girl will be back at school tomorrow. I personally believe it is all being caused by allergies. So, I set up an appointment for a full check up and we are going to get her allergies figured out.

End of school is coming soon. Last week, pinkeye girl, Heather had her chorus concert and next week she and little brother, Dale, will be performing as part of school bands. Recorder (or flutophone as Band Teacher calls it) and clarinet music fills the house frequently. They are so talented. It just makes my heart melt when they play.

I am so PMS'ing today. I think that is why I haven't stayed on one topic long enough to finish my thoughts on it. I end up sounding rather crabby. So I go back and delete everything up to where I was still pleasant. Makes for interesting blogging.

With PMS, also c