Good Evening!

I made meatballs for dinner tonight. Now these aren't italian meatballs, more along the lines of Swedish meatballs. They are best served with mashed potatoes and a salad, which of course I did. The recipe is my moms and so I will give her full credit on their yumminess. They were soooo good. I realized tonight there are some foods that taste so good that even after you are stuffed and hurting from eating so much, you still want more of it. I think the combination of the amazingly good taste of them and the included emotional warmth provided from the memories of when Mom has made them, made dinner tonight one of those times. I've been trying to think of what other food I have eaten that has effected me like this. But, I think the feel goodness of the dinner I just ate is blocking my thoughts on it. If you read this and have a suggestion to add to the amazing foods list, let me know. Or if you are interested in the recipe....

Yesterday, I had surgery on my knee. Interestingly, the surgery did not take place in a hospital. It took place in a Surgery Center in Scottsdale. At first I wasn't sure what type of place this would be and what type of experience I was going to have. But I had faith in my doctor and went with it. The place was amazing. The waiting area was something out of a movie set. I felt like I had stepped into a high class hotel in Africa somewhere. The couches and chairs were more than comfortable, so soft and inviting. Although, I didn't get to rest in the waiting area very long. They kept it all on schedule for me. All the staff seemed to really like their jobs. Everyone got along very well with each other. My doctor and the Surgical Nurse Cindy were joking and playing all the while managing to stay very professional. I got a lot of one on one attention. My one and only complaint is that I felt a bit rushed out of recovery. Although, I really don't know how long I had been in there before I became aware of what was happening. Now since the surgery, I've been sore and uncomfortable but I have been assured this will ease soon and I'll be as good as new! ....But oh and I glad it is all over now.

Surgery

I have to have surgery this week. My knee has some torn cartilage that needs to be cleaned up. The surgery was scheduled a week ago. I have found that waiting to be just shy of agony. It has been worse than Christmas ever was for me as a child. Anticipation sucks! See the doctor isn't sure exactly what he will do until he gets into my knee with that little camera of his. I might end up on crutches and hobbling around for weeks afterward or I could end up with a couple of day s of soreness and no brace and no crutches. The strangest thing is the preferred choice is for me to be disabled for weeks. Crazy isn't it. I still have 2 1/2 days left before the surgery and go figure my knee is feeling better than it has in weeks. Isn't that how it always is? You start to feel better just before seeing the doctor. It makes me wonder how much I really want to do this, but then I've put so much energy and worry in to this thing that if I don't follow through I'll have the worst let down. And you know what? Secretly, quietly in the inner most reaches of my mind. I am hoping for the longer recovery. No, not because it gives me a greater chance of a clear future with the knee. No, in that innermost part of my conscious, I am looking forward to the attention I will get if I am debilitated. Isn't that just awful of me? I've been really trying to just ignore those little thoughts floating around back there, but they haven't gone away! I feel as if I must be the worst most selfserving person on the planted to be thinking that way. I am so selfish. Sometimes I really don't like my innerself.

Baseball

Ok, I wanted to give a few quick observations of Baseball's role in my life. It is rather silly that it even has as strong a role as it does, but here goes. I enjoy watching and listening to Diamondback games. Other baseball teams I don't have the emotions invested in and so I have trouble paying close attention, although if it is on, I will likely pause and see what is happening.
Ok, baseball is just a game right? So why then do I find myself still adoring my team but having trouble even thinking much about them right now as they are doing so badly? I think I have tied a bit of my overall happiness to whether or not they are doing well. Isn't that crazy? It should be something I enjoy, not something I have to have in order to be happy.
Wow, that just sounded like I was describing a drug of some sort. I bet there are people who are truly addicted to sports. Who's entire emotional lives are based around how well their teams are doing. I am glad I am not at that level, but still am surprised at the emotional hold a professional baseball team has on me. Basket ball used to be this same way for me. And as much as I am still a fan and enjoy watching a game. A decade of less than stellar performances by my team has lessened my emotional need for them. Hey! I bet that is why I am noticing such a withdrawl of my 'emotional' support or perhaps need of the team as they aren't doing well and the uncomfortableness associated with it. This is the first season since their first season that they have struggled like this. These are just the growing pains in my relationship with my Diamondbacks.
Or, Maybe, I'm just over thinking it all.