To Choose or Not to Choose, That is the Question
My husband and I had a talk with our daughter tonight about choices. We explained, yet again, to her how her choices will effect not only the others around her, but her opportunities or consequences in the future. This is such a tough thing for kids to learn and grasp. Their lives revolve so much in the present. I wonder if making such a case for choosing carefully really has much effect on her. I'd rather she get it now that have the ample opportunities for the 'I Told You So's' in the future.
I watched gymnastics last night. It was a competition that determines the national women's team for the upcoming world championships. I always marvel at the choices that those girls make in order to be where they are at. They sacrifice so much. Not just time and friendships in order to train, but also they sacrifice their bodies to the sport. Some have such strong little bodies there isn't much to them except the muscles. They were 14-20 years old, but I saw only one that looked as if any form of womanhood had reached her. They put off through the extreme physical training the maturation of their bodies. The end result can be breathtaking though. They tumble, jump, spin and toss themselves around in the most amazing ways. Each girl makes very specific choices to lead her to that level of eliteness in her sport.
I think about my house. We have made so many quick choices as to the renovations and changes we want to make. It has been mind numbing how quick it has all flown by. I have had to do a lot of trusting in my instinctual choices when it comes to colors and styles. Thus far, I have not been disappointed. Still, there is a lot of trust that comes when forgoing normal research times. I am grateful my husband has been trusting of my opinions. But then I look at some of the houses in my neighborhood and wonder just how long some of the other homeowners spent deciding on house color. There are some shocking examples of poor choice making in my opinion. Granted, my tastes are not like everyone else's but there are just some shades of teal that do not belong on a house. The choices I make about how the exterior of my house looks, will have an effect on those living around me.
Choices and consequences. It is impossible to be careful enough to make sure nothing bad happens, but certainly we can try to be good, considerate people. How does this stack up when it comes to choices that may not be the best for us, but yet we really want something. It reminds me of going to a buffet style restaurant this weekend. I know my choices there were really not all in my best interest. Which is typically why I usually avoid such places. Still, it was a very pleasant meal with my family. The kids were so well behaved, I got compliments from the strangers around us. I was able, in front of my kids, to brag a bit about them. This is always good for the self confidence. Do the good and the not so goods in this case balance out? Or should I still regret my poor decision making when it came to eating?
It is tough to teach proper decision making when I struggle with it myself. I hope my daughter understood what we were trying to explain to her tonight, but somehow I doubt it will create much change in her. It is more likely that we will need to provide instant negative consequences to some of her choices to help her understand that they really were poor choices. Parenting is tough.
I watched gymnastics last night. It was a competition that determines the national women's team for the upcoming world championships. I always marvel at the choices that those girls make in order to be where they are at. They sacrifice so much. Not just time and friendships in order to train, but also they sacrifice their bodies to the sport. Some have such strong little bodies there isn't much to them except the muscles. They were 14-20 years old, but I saw only one that looked as if any form of womanhood had reached her. They put off through the extreme physical training the maturation of their bodies. The end result can be breathtaking though. They tumble, jump, spin and toss themselves around in the most amazing ways. Each girl makes very specific choices to lead her to that level of eliteness in her sport.
I think about my house. We have made so many quick choices as to the renovations and changes we want to make. It has been mind numbing how quick it has all flown by. I have had to do a lot of trusting in my instinctual choices when it comes to colors and styles. Thus far, I have not been disappointed. Still, there is a lot of trust that comes when forgoing normal research times. I am grateful my husband has been trusting of my opinions. But then I look at some of the houses in my neighborhood and wonder just how long some of the other homeowners spent deciding on house color. There are some shocking examples of poor choice making in my opinion. Granted, my tastes are not like everyone else's but there are just some shades of teal that do not belong on a house. The choices I make about how the exterior of my house looks, will have an effect on those living around me.
Choices and consequences. It is impossible to be careful enough to make sure nothing bad happens, but certainly we can try to be good, considerate people. How does this stack up when it comes to choices that may not be the best for us, but yet we really want something. It reminds me of going to a buffet style restaurant this weekend. I know my choices there were really not all in my best interest. Which is typically why I usually avoid such places. Still, it was a very pleasant meal with my family. The kids were so well behaved, I got compliments from the strangers around us. I was able, in front of my kids, to brag a bit about them. This is always good for the self confidence. Do the good and the not so goods in this case balance out? Or should I still regret my poor decision making when it came to eating?
It is tough to teach proper decision making when I struggle with it myself. I hope my daughter understood what we were trying to explain to her tonight, but somehow I doubt it will create much change in her. It is more likely that we will need to provide instant negative consequences to some of her choices to help her understand that they really were poor choices. Parenting is tough.
3 Comments:
Good for you for having that conversation -- it's fairly easy to give kids simple choices ("the blue pants or the red ones?") but explaining about choice and consequences with respect to complex situations in life is more difficult. But starting the dialogue is definitely key.
I never understand people who paint their houses horrible shades. I mean, yes, sometimes it looks different on the sample, but there are just some that don't belong on the outside, no matter how "soft" it may look!
Teaching your children about choice and consequence / rights and reponsibilities provides a solid foundation for them
good for you guys.
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