Hello, Is Anybody In There?
Renovations often bring unexpected obstacles. This is really just a truth about being your own general contractor. But, having heard this and having lived this are two very separate things. And look at me..I put that in the past tense, like it is all over and done with. I hope I haven't just jinxed myself with another month of headaches, heh.
This summer of fixing the house came as a surprise for me. It certainly wasn't in my summer plans back in May. BUT- then the air conditioner stopped working and since the thing was ancient and it needed a new compressor..well no point in fixing it. Might as well spend $10K to get a new one. Oh, but wait, I don't have that much money just laying around. So, we entered a very confusing world of refinancing and home equity. We ended up diving head first into home renovations in the matter of a couple of weeks. There really is only so much you can do to prepare for such things anyway, but a bit more planning might have been helpful.
Anyway, I have learned more then I ever thought I would know about getting permits from the city. And the biggest lesson of getting permits? If the inspector says you have to have a permit...you get a permit no matter what the people at City Hall say. Gotta love bureaucracy. Because we were having major electrical work done on the house, we had to have a city inspector come out and say all was good before we could turn back power to the house. Not just turn back on the power, but have the power company reconnect the house to the wires dangling from the dead tree in my backyard. It is amazing what the city inspector will find wrong with your house once you let him into the yard. UGH!
In all of this, we got to go look at aerial photographs of our neighborhood from around the time the house was built. It is crazy to see how little the structures of the area have changed in the past 40 years. It must be the fear of those city inspectors...
I sat all afternoon one day comparing the black and white images we got from city hall to my neighborhood on Google maps. Google is cool. What a fun way to spy on the neighbors. And look at who's backyards are messier than mine. (Actually..with all the work..my backyard is looking better than it has since we moved in..emptying a pool into the yard sure does help the grass grow).
My kids love Google maps too. We roam around the city with it finding Grandma's house and their school and their favorite parks. How did I ever survive without a birdseye view of my world as a kid?
This week, school started again for my kids. I have been alone all day with my two little hellions boys. Keep in mind that this house still does not have a functioning kitchen. (Although those adorable, sweet little boys have already gone in with marker and scribbled on all the new cabinet doors...Thank goodness for magic eraser). I have started to feel like I am living in a very narrow universe. My bipolar mind does not like this and has been trying to go on Strike.
For months, I have lived one day at a time. I know that sounds cliché ..and well it is a cliché. Each morning through all this, I would get up to take care of my kids..keeping them from destroying whoever's house we were staying at that week. Rush them off to swim lessons etc. and then spend the afternoon doing laundry at the laundromat, or dealing with workers at the house (or meeting the city inspector to beg to let us have the power back on). I hopped from one chaotic moment to the next, trying to just keep it all moving forward. So, is it any wonder I am struggling to find my old routines? Is it any wonder my little boys are going a bit crazy too?
I am missing my Google maps view of my life right now. I feel like I am focused down onto a little speck of dust and can't stop staring at it. I am struggling to zoom out and see the whole picture. I feel trapped..staring at that speck.
As much as all of what I am feeling is understandable..I am still stuck. My mind wants to stop and just stand outside of me with that picket sign. The intense need I feel to run away right now is overwhelming. I don't feel hopeless or helpless...more that I don't care anymore. But I have to care. The hardest part is that despite largely understanding what I am feeling..it doesn't stop the feeling. But the exploration of it all, does help me to keep fighting. And eventually, I'll beat it. I always do.
This summer of fixing the house came as a surprise for me. It certainly wasn't in my summer plans back in May. BUT- then the air conditioner stopped working and since the thing was ancient and it needed a new compressor..well no point in fixing it. Might as well spend $10K to get a new one. Oh, but wait, I don't have that much money just laying around. So, we entered a very confusing world of refinancing and home equity. We ended up diving head first into home renovations in the matter of a couple of weeks. There really is only so much you can do to prepare for such things anyway, but a bit more planning might have been helpful.
Anyway, I have learned more then I ever thought I would know about getting permits from the city. And the biggest lesson of getting permits? If the inspector says you have to have a permit...you get a permit no matter what the people at City Hall say. Gotta love bureaucracy. Because we were having major electrical work done on the house, we had to have a city inspector come out and say all was good before we could turn back power to the house. Not just turn back on the power, but have the power company reconnect the house to the wires dangling from the dead tree in my backyard. It is amazing what the city inspector will find wrong with your house once you let him into the yard. UGH!
In all of this, we got to go look at aerial photographs of our neighborhood from around the time the house was built. It is crazy to see how little the structures of the area have changed in the past 40 years. It must be the fear of those city inspectors...
I sat all afternoon one day comparing the black and white images we got from city hall to my neighborhood on Google maps. Google is cool. What a fun way to spy on the neighbors. And look at who's backyards are messier than mine. (Actually..with all the work..my backyard is looking better than it has since we moved in..emptying a pool into the yard sure does help the grass grow).
My kids love Google maps too. We roam around the city with it finding Grandma's house and their school and their favorite parks. How did I ever survive without a birdseye view of my world as a kid?
This week, school started again for my kids. I have been alone all day with my two little
For months, I have lived one day at a time. I know that sounds cliché ..and well it is a cliché. Each morning through all this, I would get up to take care of my kids..keeping them from destroying whoever's house we were staying at that week. Rush them off to swim lessons etc. and then spend the afternoon doing laundry at the laundromat, or dealing with workers at the house (or meeting the city inspector to beg to let us have the power back on). I hopped from one chaotic moment to the next, trying to just keep it all moving forward. So, is it any wonder I am struggling to find my old routines? Is it any wonder my little boys are going a bit crazy too?
I am missing my Google maps view of my life right now. I feel like I am focused down onto a little speck of dust and can't stop staring at it. I am struggling to zoom out and see the whole picture. I feel trapped..staring at that speck.
As much as all of what I am feeling is understandable..I am still stuck. My mind wants to stop and just stand outside of me with that picket sign. The intense need I feel to run away right now is overwhelming. I don't feel hopeless or helpless...more that I don't care anymore. But I have to care. The hardest part is that despite largely understanding what I am feeling..it doesn't stop the feeling. But the exploration of it all, does help me to keep fighting. And eventually, I'll beat it. I always do.
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