Depression v. Love

Thank you all for you comments on my last post. They were reassuring and comforting. As an update, my dear friend sent me a note in the mail that arrived Saturday morning. I should have been giving her more credit as a friend. She decided that even if I needed to withdraw, I should still have her encouraging, strengthening words. I am truly blessed to have her friendship.

I keep telling myself I need to change my perspective. If I can see situations from different angles I am more likely to see them as they really are. That is the struggle with depression, my perspective gets narrowed and I only see things from my own distorted mindset.

This weekend, that has been my goal, to shift my point-of-view. It is starting to work. I still find some things (like making phone calls) completely overwhelming. I have, however, found a way to seeing my children as the amazing people they are again. Grumpy mom is really no fun for anyone. This is a great step forward. My patience for my children is one of my gauges for when things are getting bad. The rest of the chaos is easier to put back into order when I allow myself to be filled with love again.

It is really tough to stay depressed when feeling love and compassion for others. Depression is a selfish beast.

So, here's my goal for the week. I will remember, often, how much I love my children. I will remember much I adore my husband. I will remember my sweet friends. I deserve to feel love. It is part of being alive. Most importantly, I deserve to be loved back. What a tremendous feeling to know I really am loved.

A second goal...I will go find something else to write a post about. The only way to do that..is to actually go do things and I am in need of some doing.