Arguing Over Everything/Nothing?
I just wrote out a long post about how I'm upset at my husband. It felt really good to write it, but I don't have his permission to air out his dirty laundry and it wasn't really all that fair. So, I deleted it all. I am still going to share some of the main points of it, though.
Point #1..
If a person goes into the kitchen and starts to put dinner leftovers away, he should complete the task.
Point #2..
If said person's spouse wishes to discuss the matter, said person should not fall asleep.
Point #3..
This spouse will spend hours imagining every insult and connecting all the bad moments from the past six months to this one act of forgetfulness. She will stay up late and play solitaire on computer.
Point #4..
When she starts period the next morning and realizes she had been PMS'ing...she really ought to apologize for overreacting.
Point #5..
She still thinks she deserves an apology from said person even if he "doesn't know what he thinks" about spouse being upset.
Point #6..
PMS effects intensity of reactions and doesn't create reactions. And so the hurt feelings should still be addressed.
Point #7..
So, what ya wanna bet he isn't expecting any of these emotions to still be lingering and will be surprised when we finally get a chance to talk later?
The past couple of weeks have been difficult for my family. When mom is sick or injured (which I was and am) things don't run as smoothly at home. When I start to think about trying to get caught up on everything I feel overwhelmed and alone. This is tough because I still am having a lot of trouble doing some things.
I spent some time this morning thinking over everything my husband has done for me these past two weeks. I know he has done a lot and I really don't want to minimize it. I appreciate him and am lucky to have him.
It is hard though, when he goes to work and leaves me barely recovering from everything to handle the kids. I've spent most of this afternoon just sitting here. I ran some errands with my toddlers this morning and simply loading them in and out of their car seats has my arm aching badly. My own inabilities and immobility highly frustrates me. So, I am probably projecting some of my own self frustration onto him. Which isn't fair. UGH!
When does it get easier?
Point #1..
If a person goes into the kitchen and starts to put dinner leftovers away, he should complete the task.
Point #2..
If said person's spouse wishes to discuss the matter, said person should not fall asleep.
Point #3..
This spouse will spend hours imagining every insult and connecting all the bad moments from the past six months to this one act of forgetfulness. She will stay up late and play solitaire on computer.
Point #4..
When she starts period the next morning and realizes she had been PMS'ing...she really ought to apologize for overreacting.
Point #5..
She still thinks she deserves an apology from said person even if he "doesn't know what he thinks" about spouse being upset.
Point #6..
PMS effects intensity of reactions and doesn't create reactions. And so the hurt feelings should still be addressed.
Point #7..
So, what ya wanna bet he isn't expecting any of these emotions to still be lingering and will be surprised when we finally get a chance to talk later?
The past couple of weeks have been difficult for my family. When mom is sick or injured (which I was and am) things don't run as smoothly at home. When I start to think about trying to get caught up on everything I feel overwhelmed and alone. This is tough because I still am having a lot of trouble doing some things.
I spent some time this morning thinking over everything my husband has done for me these past two weeks. I know he has done a lot and I really don't want to minimize it. I appreciate him and am lucky to have him.
It is hard though, when he goes to work and leaves me barely recovering from everything to handle the kids. I've spent most of this afternoon just sitting here. I ran some errands with my toddlers this morning and simply loading them in and out of their car seats has my arm aching badly. My own inabilities and immobility highly frustrates me. So, I am probably projecting some of my own self frustration onto him. Which isn't fair. UGH!
When does it get easier?
5 Comments:
Oh honey, do not let him read this post. He will then use PMS overreaction as an excuse for your reaction to bad man behaviour.
It's easy to get overwhelmed and behind when you are so busy all of the time.
be well
I find the same issues flare up between me and J when I am already stressed about something (or am PMSing or depressed or both). It's definitely a combination of my reaction to it and his lack of sensitivity to the things which would make me feel better.
I don't think it ever stops -- just comes and goes in an ebb and flow. But like you, I do know how much he does for me and for the family, and that gets me through most of the frustration.
Hey!
I'm back on line!!!
Ava
I'm sorry you're struggling. I hope you heal quickly. Everything is harder when we don't feel well.
Oh, I feel for you. And yes, I think Husband should offer an apology...and spend some time thinking about all that you do, how much you contribute, and how lucky he is to have YOU! (And then finish putting the left-overs away.)
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