A Funny!

I was funny today.

I know it is shocking. I am not really a very funny person. I am more known for my glares and my eye-rolls then a good funny.

My husband. He is funny. He makes the kids laugh and laugh. He makes almost everyone laugh. He has even learned how to be funny..at the right times. Altho, he still will try funny when I do not want funny. We are a good match. My funny husband and his mostly not so funny wife.

I truly admire those who write funny blogs. Their personalities light up their writing like Christmas Lights. (I LOVE Christmas Lights, so this is a good thing.) I wish I could write like that about things that happen to me. But the best I think I get to..is thought provoking.

Today, while writing out my assignment for my class. I think I got funny. My 8 yr-old son thinks it is funny. He should know. He is very funny himself. He makes me laugh all the time.

Since I had this rare moment of -funny- I thought I'd share my little scene I wrote for my class. I had to write it twice from two POVs (points-of-view), but I am only going to give you one version of it. I hope you find it funny too. It should also make for interesting search engine fodder.

Third grade isn'’t for the weak and timid. Until that first day of lunch in my new school, I hadn't thought myself the easy target. I was eight but a small eight year-old with glasses. Through the morning classes I hadn't yet connected with a new friend and so I went to lunch alone. I dreaded sitting there by myself, but little did I know that was the least of my worries.

"“Hey butt-sniffer boy, do your glasses fog up when you sniff?"

I didn'’t turn around, I didn’t look. It couldn'’t be me that loud voice was calling to. I sat at a table in the corner of the busy cafeteria and tried to hide behind my milk carton.

"Butt-sniffer! Does your nose get stuck in the crack?"

I looked this time and a tall, thin boy a couple of tables away was standing and pointing at me. Several other children at the table were laughing, their hands covering their mouths full of food. One boy even had his milk dribble out of his nose as he tried hard to contain his laughter. I looked around for the teachers that had to be hearing this, but there was no adult to be seen.

I was confused. I didn't even know who this bullish boy was, let alone why he had singled me out. I quickly shoved a few more bites in my mouth and grabbed the rest and hurried to the trash can. Following me was the giggles and the whispered, "Butt-sniffer, that's funny. Do you think he really smells people'’s butts?"

I didn'’t think I could blush any redder. When it came time to toss out my uneaten lunch, my hands were shaking so badly I dropped half the food. I quickly bent to pick it up but I had delayed too long. He met me at the trash can.

"Hey butt-sniffer!"” He poked me hard in the back as I bent to get the last piece of trash. I fell forward against the trashcan and he bent down, hand ready to poke me again. Just then, I let out a loud, smelly fart. I froze. How could I have done THAT. It was only going to make the situation worse!

I stood and turned seeing my new bully gasping for air and stumbling back. The other children who had followed to see the fun were in shock. For a moment, it seemed the entire cafeteria was silent.

Then it hit me. I took a shaky breath and said loudly, "“Looks like you'’re the butt-sniffer. Did you enjoy it?"”

I turned and left before anyone else could speak and hurried through the hall to the playground. Two other boys who had been sitting at the bully’s table rushed to catch up to me. One threw his arm around my shoulders as he laughed so hard he had trouble breathing.

"That was so awesome! Did you plan that? I'’ve never seen anything so cool!"

Now off to curiculum night at the school (in the old days they just called it open house, much easier to spell) Then to my own class. {humming School Days....)