A Very Long Line
Dear Woman waiting in line behind me at the concession stand at The Movie Theater this morning,
Just in case nobody has told you yet....Yes you are a bitch.
No, it isn't cute that you dressed your eight year-old son the same as you.
No, you are not the expert on colleges in the Phoenix Metropolitan area.
No, you do not know how to listen very well. I was trying to prevent you from turning our small talk into all out confrontation.
Yes, I do expect to see you around that same theater next Friday morning too.
Yes, I plan to smile at you warmly.
Yes, I did see you rolling your eyes when you thought I was looking at my daughter.
Yes, I let my daughter dress herself. She is very creative isn't she? I do not make her dress like me. It is called allowing my child a mind of her own.
Yes, I understood completely when you told your son you should have chosen another line. I know it wasn't because the line next to us was moving any faster than ours.
Yes, I know I have a huge butt, you crowding me in the line did not make it any clearer to me. It also did not make the line move any faster.
I look forward to next week.
Sincerely,
The woman standing in front of you in the VERY long line this morning.
(A lesson in why we should not speak to strangers. Even if they look friendly. It does not matter that you may be stuck for a half hour in the same concession line in the movie theater.)
Dear toddler in front of me in the long concession line at the movie theater this morning,
You are adorable.
Thank you for the hugs.
Tell your mommy thank you for letting you be nice to me.
Thank you for going back to your mom when I asked you to so that your mom didn't think me nuts like the lady behind me.
Sincerely,
The smiling lady behind you in line this morning.
So, do I trust the toddler's instincts or the adults?
Just in case nobody has told you yet....Yes you are a bitch.
No, it isn't cute that you dressed your eight year-old son the same as you.
No, you are not the expert on colleges in the Phoenix Metropolitan area.
No, you do not know how to listen very well. I was trying to prevent you from turning our small talk into all out confrontation.
Yes, I do expect to see you around that same theater next Friday morning too.
Yes, I plan to smile at you warmly.
Yes, I did see you rolling your eyes when you thought I was looking at my daughter.
Yes, I let my daughter dress herself. She is very creative isn't she? I do not make her dress like me. It is called allowing my child a mind of her own.
Yes, I understood completely when you told your son you should have chosen another line. I know it wasn't because the line next to us was moving any faster than ours.
Yes, I know I have a huge butt, you crowding me in the line did not make it any clearer to me. It also did not make the line move any faster.
I look forward to next week.
Sincerely,
The woman standing in front of you in the VERY long line this morning.
(A lesson in why we should not speak to strangers. Even if they look friendly. It does not matter that you may be stuck for a half hour in the same concession line in the movie theater.)
Dear toddler in front of me in the long concession line at the movie theater this morning,
You are adorable.
Thank you for the hugs.
Tell your mommy thank you for letting you be nice to me.
Thank you for going back to your mom when I asked you to so that your mom didn't think me nuts like the lady behind me.
Sincerely,
The smiling lady behind you in line this morning.
So, do I trust the toddler's instincts or the adults?
10 Comments:
Oshee, I love this post. Too freaking funny. Toddlers rock. Was she breathing on your neck. I hate that. Personal space, does it mean nothing to these people.
Did you see Cars?
oshee,please please tell me that you took twice as long you normally would to order your stuff,changed your mind three times and counted out $7.88 out of your change purse whilst said coordinated momma fumed.
My sister was one of those "creative dressers". Way to go for letting your daughter express herself!
Oh, for sure the toddlers!
I think it is so cute when kids pick their own outfits. I mean, if someone can't tell that the kid picked the outfit out themselves, get a clue!
Rochelle is creative.
What's wrong with me and my son dressing exactly alike?
You have a problem with 30-year-old women wearing dinosaur T-shirts, and Spider-Man underwear under our gym shorts? ;-)
Hope you don't have to deal with that moron at any future movie trips.
Ah, it's all good you see because it's fodder for the blog. You could tell her that you blogged about her if you ever encounter her again.
LOL at Angry Pregnant Lawyer's comments! (I myself was picturing her in a lime green neon t-shirt with some tacky saying on it, which wasn't a pleasant image either...)
Sometimes I really remember why I don't go to movies much anymore. ;-)
Duh, the toddler's. But you knew that already. :->
Hey! I KNOW that woman!
She must have flown herself (on a broom, maybe) and her kid to your town.
She has a bunch of siblings who live in West Michigan also.
What will it take to stop all the rudeness???
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