Peas Under My Mattress

I was tagged for a meme this past week. I sat down deciding I would get that done tonight, but I have been sidetracked. A number of things have turned into peas under my mattresses.

First, the Suns lost and are now out of the play offs. I now hope the Mavericks win. I reason that it is best if those who beat my team win it all; it says my team was beat by the best and there is no shame in that. I also wondered how well the Suns would have done against the Heat without Amare Stoudemire to guard Shaq. I suppose the wondering doesn't matter anymore. I will be a bit sad tonight but tomorrow I will turn to baseball and be just fine. After all, the Diamondbacks have been doing really well lately.

Second, I've been reading a couple of blogs that have begun to irritate me. While the simple answer is to simply stop reading them (I can see the obvious sometimes), I want to settle in myself the reasons for the frustrations before I just move on. That self-analytical side of me must be satisfied sometimes.

Third, my husband has been moody today. As I don't have his permission, I won't go into why is has been so 'off' but needless to say it makes me feel like I'm walking on egg shells around him. When he would look at me today, it was as if he was looking straight through me. Like the worries/stresses running through his head were playing out on a wall behind me and it was all he could see. It is funny how his moods can so affect my own connection with how I am feeling.

Finally, I haven't been sleeping well lately. I been up late the past couple of nights completing things. Then I've been having some vibrant, disturbing, strange dreams when I do finally sleep. I know this is connected with being bipolar. Being sick threw me off taking my meds regularly. I've been missing doses all over the place. I have done better today but still was plagued with disturbing dreams as I took a nap this afternoon. Here are a couple dream summaries:

-(DREAM 1)My three oldest children are chasing me all around my mom's house with huge kitchen knives. (Only in the dream it is my house.) They corner me in the master bedroom and I throw shut the bedroom door JUST in time to prevent them from stabbing me to death. My husband is then with me and we escape out a back door, crouching low so they won't see us through the windows. We come around the front of the house. My husband wants to hop into the van and get away, but I know the babies are still in the house and they need to be rescued too. Who knows what the older kids will do when they realize we are gone. So, I sneak into the house and grab the 10 mo-old off the couch while my husband catches the 2 yr-old running through the kitchen. The older kids are hacking at the bedroom door with their knives determined to get to us on the otherside. I wake up as we are rushing back out the front door.

-(DREAM 2)I and my husband are visiting family/friends somewhere far from home. (I don't recognize the house in the dream, but in the dream it is where I am supposed to be...)I am in a bedroom changing my clothes. A man walks into the room, I turn as the door opens, scream and cover up my breasts with my arms. (Isn't it nuts? This isn't even a sex dream...keep reading.) He apologizes, hands me a letter (apparently he is some messenger guy) and leaves. I then end up (fully dressed) in the living room reading the letter with a group of people. It is talking all about how there is this company that wants to send me techno gadgets to review on my blog. I think this is pretty cool. Then suddenly I am back in that bedroom, changing my clothes again. Only it is a different time, not a replay of the time before. The SAME man walks into the room without knocking. I yell at him, don't you ever Knock?? just as I throw my arms up around my chest again. He then hands me another envelope and backs out of the room while staring at my chest. My husband rushes into the room at that point and doesn't even ask why I'm half naked, or why the guy is in the room. He asks, 'what's in the envelope?' I put a robe on (yes, I dreamed putting the robe on.) I open the envelope and inside is this check from the before mentioned company for over $19,000. I am supposed to use the check to pay for the gadgets I get sent. That is how I am going to get the things for free. (HUH? It all seems perfectly logical in the dream.) My husband is excited and I start thinking about trying to figure out a way to keep the money instead of using it for the gadgets. I wake up thinking to myself why don't I wonder if it is a scam...one of those that send a cashier's check that is counterfeit, but isn't determined counterfeit until 6 weeks after you deposit it?

So, from the above dreams can you surmise that I've been having child disciplining issues with the start of summer and varying money troubles?

I feel all stretched out unnaturally. Like different needs, my own and others, are pulling me in all different directions all at the same time. This isn't such a new feeling, after all I am a mom and it pretty much comes with the territory. I just don't usually feel so out of sorts with it I guess.

It has also been really hot this weekend and is only going to get hotter. Take a look:

Metro Phoenix forecast
Sat H: 112 L: 82	Sun H: 112 L: 82	Mon H: 111 L: 84	Tue H: 108 L: 81	Wed H: 108 L: 80	Thu H: 107 L: 79	Fri H: 107

Altho, it only got to 110F today. My weather pixie has been running around in just a bikini the past couple of afternoons.
Thank goodness for air conditioning.