The Mur Man

My husband is off on a Boy Scout canoe trip down the Colorado River. I hope he is happy to be going. His job has been ultra stressful for the past week and he had been driving me nuts all week as he tried to deal with that and preparing for this trip. Being in the middle of nowhere means I am not going to get to hear from him while he is away. That is the toughest part I think.

The first time I noticed my husband was after a church activity. He was wearing an ironed shirt, tie and was washing dishes. He looked so handsome and was joking and laughing with the other people cleaning up. I thought for sure this was a man who didn't mind doing a few chores. (Ok I didn't think too much about chores, more about how nice he looked..etc.) Now, this wasn't the first time we met. He tells me we had actually met a couple of weeks before. In fact, he says I introduced myself. Well, my introducing myself to new nice looking men was not so unusual at that time. I was 19 and looking good myself. I just have no memory of that first meeting. This is the one memory my husband has me beat in. That he remembers it and I don't often gets me to let him slide on his occasional forgetting other things. Of course, I did look good, so how could he not remember??

At the time of our first meeting, he and I exchanged email addresses. This was back in 1994. He and I had both been using the internet for awhile and so it seemed perfectly natural. Looking back, I see how important the discovery we both had email was to everything afterward. We started writing email to each other. It started out pretty innocent, but then he started the three questions. At the end of each email we had the opportunity to ask any three questions. The other could choose not to answer but nothing was to be off limits. Now, we were church-going, respecting young adults so we didn't get raunchy or sexual..mostly. But we learned a lot about each other very quickly. It got so I would rush to the hi-tech center between classes at the college I was attending to see if he had returned my email or I would simply get to school an hour early to spend the time (no not studying) to write to him. We were one of the very first internet couples I think.

Something should be noted here. We were both dating others at the time we exchanged email addresses. Nothing serious but I saw him with this pretty blond at church so I tended to keep my distance and I was seeing a jerk of an idiot and hadn't realized it yet. In our emails and conversations we NEVER discussed these others. In fact, I am still learning little tidbits about the girl he was dating now after eleven years. He just assumes I know all the things he mentions because I was around at the same time. HA! I suppose he still doesn't know much about the schmuck I was allowing to mess with my emotions at that time. Somethings stop mattering pretty, ya know?

After emailing and seeing each other through church stuff for over four months he finally called as asked me out. I had just that week decided Mr. Nitwit was no longer worth my tears (can you sense I still have a tad bit of venom for the guy??). So of course I said yes I would go with him. Then he told me we would be going on a double date with his parents. WHAT?? Ok, I didn't really question it. We had gotten to know each other so well through those revealing emails that I knew how close his family was. I went with it. We went to a fake old west town called Rockin' R Ranch. We had a blast. His parents went their way and we went ours. We immediately felt like we'd been dating for years. Watching us nobody would have thought it was a first date. We sat close, held hands, etc. It was so RIGHT!

Over the next couple of weeks we only saw each other on the weekends. (I was still determined to do well in school) We did, however, speak nightly on the phone. Our second date we went to a park he grew up nearby and we fed the ducks and overly aggressive geese. We still laugh at those geese when we return to that park and I don't go near them.

My mom told me later that she had a feeling when she met him when we picked me up for our first date. She said she knew I was going to marry him. I knew it pretty quick too. Our first date was in mid November. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving we had a deep talk. Revealing all those little things in our pasts that might scare someone away. Neither of us were scared. He came on Thanksgiving to play games with my family, a long standing tradition. He fit right in with the rest of the crazies in my family. He and my dad threw jokes back and forth all night.

The next night, we got engaged. This wasn't a bended knee with the ring our proposal. It was odd. Our entire relationship had developed in unusual ways so I wasn't really that surprised.

I had gone to his apartment with little really planned. We were going to watch TV or something. We ended up talking. A couple hours into the snuggling and talking on the couch I asked a question. I asked, "So, are we boyfriend/girlfriend or what?". Remember we'd been dating less than two weeks at this point. While I knew I was going to marry him, I wasn't foolish enough to believe he knew it yet. But, I also wanted to have some sort of commitment verbally acknowledged because after all, I am a woman. He was quiet for a LONG time. I started to question myself a bit about my forwardness (which is always something I question AFTER the fact). He then said in an almost whisper, "Will you marry me." I replied, equally quiet (why mess with the mood) "yes". That is it. No big production. But 13 days following our first date, we were engaged. The next week, I went and picked out my ring, he showed up a tad bit late and I showed him which one I liked. We got it and that's that. Although, he did have to pass the DAD interview, but he was more nervous about it than me. LOL (Of course, I was never grilled by his parents.)

That is funny, I wasn't thinking I was going to write about our engagement. I thought I should write about what an amazing father he is, but that can wait until next time. My husband is on my mind tonight. Not the father of my children, but the man who is my friend, my lover, my anchor.

I hate sleeping alone. Even though I HATE touching while sleeping, I will miss him being there, next to me.