Diving Right In...Then what?
Deborah (6 yr-old) walked out to the end of the diving board and turned around. Her heels hung off the edge of the board. Her dive team coach stood in front of her and carefully helped her bend backward until she was able to dive into the pool below. She did a somersalt in the water and come up gasping for breath. She looked over to the side of the pool and it looked so far away. Fear filled her as she treadwater she began screaming hysterically. "Aaaa! Aaaa! Aaaa!" the screams turned into hyperventilated gasps as she struggled to keep her head up out of the water. The dive team coach dove in after Deb and hauled her to the side of the pool. Deb climbed out of the water and rushed over to where I waited with her towel.
My little girl and I then had a heart to heart talk.
"Deborah, why didn't you swim to the ladder?" I asked, working hard not to laugh anymore, now that she was with me.
"I was scared! It was so far away!" replied Deb in her sweetest, yet whiniest voice.
"Were you scared because you dove in backward?" I said.
"No." she said.
"You were scared to swim to the ladder?" I said.
"Yes, it was soooo far." she said so dramatically, I had to look around to see if they were about to award her an Oscar.
"Deborah, you know you can swim to the ladder. You do it all the time. It isn't that far. You should just swim to the side. Don't make your coach dive in after you." I said in my best mommy-tone.
"Ok." she said.
"I think you should go dive again and this time show your coach you can swim to the ladder all by yourself." I continued.
"Alright." she said and stood, dropped her towel and hurried back over to the divingboard ladder to wait her turn.
Deborah walked out to the edge of the board. She turned, hanging her heels off the edge. The coach looked back over and mean and I nodded and smiled. The dive coach once again helped Deb lean backwards and dive into the pool. Deborah popped right up and swam to the side of the pool. I stood and cheered her on as she swam.
The whole event has most likely been completely forgotten by Deborah now.
__________________________________________
My little girl is such an enigma. She has running dialoge in her head all the time. When she decides something is too hard to do she simply gives up. In the water, giving up can be a very poor choice. All it takes sometimes is just a few words of encouragement and support and she can conquer the world. The diving didn't scare her, the 8 foot swim to the edge of the pool terrified her.
In other things, she has the ultimate confidence. She didn’t know any of the other children on the dive team before the first day but now she runs around the pool in her free hour before her lessons begin with a couple of little friends.
It always surprises me when this vivacious, stubborn, smart little girl lets something overwhelm her and take control, such as fear. So often I wish I could be more like her. I wish I were more able to live in the moment and experience it so fully. My mind holds onto worries, reminders, stresses too well. But then she has a moment where her doubting mind takes hold and I see myself in her.
Do you ever let fear win? Do you get stuck and just want to scream for help? What do you do to overcome such moments?
My little girl and I then had a heart to heart talk.
"Deborah, why didn't you swim to the ladder?" I asked, working hard not to laugh anymore, now that she was with me.
"I was scared! It was so far away!" replied Deb in her sweetest, yet whiniest voice.
"Were you scared because you dove in backward?" I said.
"No." she said.
"You were scared to swim to the ladder?" I said.
"Yes, it was soooo far." she said so dramatically, I had to look around to see if they were about to award her an Oscar.
"Deborah, you know you can swim to the ladder. You do it all the time. It isn't that far. You should just swim to the side. Don't make your coach dive in after you." I said in my best mommy-tone.
"Ok." she said.
"I think you should go dive again and this time show your coach you can swim to the ladder all by yourself." I continued.
"Alright." she said and stood, dropped her towel and hurried back over to the divingboard ladder to wait her turn.
Deborah walked out to the edge of the board. She turned, hanging her heels off the edge. The coach looked back over and mean and I nodded and smiled. The dive coach once again helped Deb lean backwards and dive into the pool. Deborah popped right up and swam to the side of the pool. I stood and cheered her on as she swam.
The whole event has most likely been completely forgotten by Deborah now.
__________________________________________
My little girl is such an enigma. She has running dialoge in her head all the time. When she decides something is too hard to do she simply gives up. In the water, giving up can be a very poor choice. All it takes sometimes is just a few words of encouragement and support and she can conquer the world. The diving didn't scare her, the 8 foot swim to the edge of the pool terrified her.
In other things, she has the ultimate confidence. She didn’t know any of the other children on the dive team before the first day but now she runs around the pool in her free hour before her lessons begin with a couple of little friends.
It always surprises me when this vivacious, stubborn, smart little girl lets something overwhelm her and take control, such as fear. So often I wish I could be more like her. I wish I were more able to live in the moment and experience it so fully. My mind holds onto worries, reminders, stresses too well. But then she has a moment where her doubting mind takes hold and I see myself in her.
Do you ever let fear win? Do you get stuck and just want to scream for help? What do you do to overcome such moments?
5 Comments:
I frequently want to just give in and flail my arms. If someone comes to rescue me, I'm afraid I sometimes let them, but sometimes just the realization that I'm acting like I need rescuing is enough to pull me back up.
I have a couple of fears I've never been able to lose completely but I've picked up a mantra or two that help.
Rebecca is like your daughter in some respects so I hear what you're saying.
Watching kids grow up is just so fascinating. Each of my daughters has different fears and different areas they're confident it. I guess we're all a bit like that.
My older daughter (Mimi) sounds a lot like Deborah -- sometimes she's willing to take a risk, and othertimes even the simplest things get her nervous and looking for assistance.
I'm sure I have my moments where I'm looking for rescue -- mostly when I'm out of my comfort zone with a work project or something. It's interesting though, those moments are sometimes hard to identify until they have passed!
I always seem to be drowning! But now I have invented my own voice of encouragement as I never had a positive parent like you! So now I try to believe in myself or pretend I do. Sometimes it works. She's a cool girl and I envy her.
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