Be As A Little Child

Yesterday was a spring cleaning day. Only here in Phoenix that means something a bit different. There wasn't messes left from months of snow to clean up, no no, there was dead weeds to clear out and rocks to rake. And, most importantly, there is the pool to get ready! It's pool time! And I had put off preparing the pool for swimming. Yesterday, I got it ready. And at the end of the day, it was really nice to sit there, with the feet in the water and admire it's beauty.

No, it was too late by the time all was ready to actually go swimming. But that didn't stop my 8 yr old, Deborah from asking if they could go. Well, she intended to ask me anyway. I was sitting on the diving board admiring my hard work, daddy was sitting beside me and 2 yr old Brandon was beside daddy, his own little feet dangling in the water. Deborah came up to me to ask, and before she could get the words out of her mouth, I pushed her in. Yes, that's right, I pushed her into the water, fully clothed. And it was funny. Now, see, I couldn't have done that with 12 yr old, Heather, no no...that would have been very bad. But Deborah is a good sport about such things and after a stressed moment of losing her shoe, she laughed and laughed. I told her we weren't going swimming but that she should go inside and shower.

My wise husband said at this point I should be expecting the other two older children shortly. I said nooo...but he was right. First, Dale, 10 yr old, wander slowly out by the pool. I had stood and was preparing to go inside, but had to push him in first. Laughing, he returned inside. And just as I had convinced Brandon to come inside with me, Heather came tentatively tip toe-ing out by the pool. I said 'ok, I'll push you in'. She said, 'can I jump?' I said, 'no what's the fun in that.' Still she didn't let me get much leverage and dove prettily into the pool. She still made a significant splash tho upon coming up from the water.

So, picture this if you will, Heather splashing around in the pool, fully clothed. Brandon, suddenly has become very concerned. "OH NO!" He keeps shouting. Daddy and I just laugh and laugh as Heather takes her splashing good time to leave the pool. Reassuring Brandon has no effect and he runs over, grabs the aluminum pole with the strainer attachment and holds it out to Heather, to rescue her. My heart leapt into my throat. Wow! How did he know to do that?? Was he the only child paying attention last summer on saftey day at swim lessons? Naw, he was only one at the time, that couldn't be it. He instinctively knew how to save his much larger, flailing sister. Heather grabbed the end and sweetly played along as she took the steps out of the pool. She gave Brandon a hug and thanked him. He was overjoyed to see her saftely back on the pool deck and we all went inside.

Daily, I see Brandon and Robert, 3 yr old, interact in similar ways. They are deeply concerned for each other's well being and happiness. They will give hugs to comfort, kisses to heal and ask 'Happy?' to be sure all is right in their little worlds again. They are such shining little examples of how we should all care and love each other. Wouldn't it be something sweet and special if the leaders of the world could hug, give healing kisses, and ask each other if all is happy. We should all be more like little children. (Except for the fit throwing and screaming NO!)

On another happy note, my new vanity liscense plate arrived this week. Can you guess what it says??

Happy Guessing!

Jumping in Feet First

Growing up, I used to keep a journal. Only, I wasn't very good with it. I would write regularly for a space of time, weeks maybe even months. And then I'd forget to write for a time, months maybe even years. I would return to the journal and feel overwhelmed that there was so much I had missed writing about. So much that I felt I had to write and write to catch up some imaginary journal reader everything in my life. Needless to say, writing that catch up, sometimes would completely burn me out.

So, my dear blog friends, who are real, unlike that imaginary journal reader I had, I am not going to catch you up on everything right now. I am just going to hop right back in, feet first.

I do want to write about my very favorite moment from this past Christmas.

The scene, preparing the family to go pick out a Christmas Tree. The kids were all very excited and were congregating by the front door, awaiting permission to head to the van. My oldest (Heather almost 12) sat down on the floor and held her littlest brother (Brandon 2 1/2) to help him wait. She started telling him all about Christmas trees and all about the Christmas lights we would see. She was sharing with him all her most favorite Christmas things. There was not one mention of gifts or toys or the many 'things' that would be coming their way.

He watched her face with rapt attention and would repeat a word or two she was saying. His own excitement was growing as she shared hers.

In so many ways the past couple months have been difficult. However, I keep returning to that moment in my thoughts and in my heart. We have a strong foundation in our home. It is based on love and giving and sharing ourselves. I see it in how my children love each other. I see it in how they like to be together. I see it in how they patiently teach each other.

I am blessed. I am loved.


Soccer season will be upon us within a month. I think, unlike this past fall, we will be signing up again. So, lots of stories and pictures to come on those adventures.

Happy New Year everyone! Better a month late...then missing out entirely..

A Little Lost

Lately, I feel like I've lost myself.

More so, I feel like I've been looking for myself and not finding what I expected. This blog is filled with post after post of me searching for the same thing. Me, trying to communicate some thought some idea as authentically me as possible.

I stopped blogging recently. Not out of a conscious choice, but out of distraction with other things. That is how my life feels right now, distracted.

Today I spent some time speaking with a friend. He has had a most interesting life. He has traveled extensively and gotten to learn and study and teach some extraordinary things. His story is important because listening to his excitement and energy for his life sent me through a whole myriad of thoughts and emotions. I thought about how I want to learn so many of the same things. I want to travel everywhere and learn about cultures and languages.

But, then I started thinking about my other goals too. My goals for my children. My goals for the type of mother I want to be. Goals for my education and intellectual growth. I have felt so much like somebody went and pushed pause on my life. I have been stagnant. I have been wallowing in my own mediocrity and then trying to find reasons to escape it all.

I am a wife, daughter, sister and mother. I am the mother of five children. I am a stay at home mother of five children. Somewhere lost in all of that is a woman, an individual. I've been going about reconnecting with myself all wrong. I've stopped doing the things that free me to be me, because in so many ways I thought those things were preventing it. So, my worries about the homework, the housework, the volunteer responsibilities have been tremendous because I have fought doing them. They have felt burdensome. When the honest truth is, when I face those burdens and attack them with energy and happiness, they are lighter and much easier to accomplish.

So there it is. The true way to not lose myself..is to face the struggles instead of escape them.
I think I'll return to blogland now.

Catching Up

I've been away from blogland for sometime.

Life sometimes seem to fly forward so quickly.

So, to quickly catch up...

Parent/Teacher conferences came and went...and were not so good. Lots of worries about school right now..

Weather is changing very slowly. We are still wearing shorts and sandals most days. But it is too cold for the pool now.

Halloween is coming! Kids went to a party last Friday and more trick or treating to come. Candy Candy Everywhere...blah!

My oldest son has broken his wrist. Over eleven years with kids with no broken bones, and then two within two months. He was roller skating. Well, he broke the wrist when he thought he could climb up on a bench wearing roller skates.

I've been volunteering in my daughters class room for a couple months now. I absolutely love it.

We took a spontaneous trip to San Diego a couple of weeks ago. It was a whirlwind and it was wonderful. Pictures to come on it.

There's the quick catch up for anyone still reading here.

To Cable or Not To Cable

The Diamondbacks are in the playoffs. The first preseason Suns' game is on Saturday. I am in my own personal sports heaven right now. The only thing that could be better? Is if I had cable or satellite so I could actually watch all the games. Of course, who am I kidding? With my kids, that wouldn't happen anyway.

I have a question for you. For you wonderful blogworld you. Do you have cable or satellite TV? If so, how much extra does it cost you a month? If you have experience with both cable and satellite, what is the advantage of each?

I guess that was more than one question.

My husband and I keep debating whether we should get cable or not. We've had it in the past, but for a long time haven't because of cost. Now, we worry that if we have it, the TV will become an even bigger presence in our home, which we do not want. So, if you have an opinion, please share!

Thanks.